


When hell rains, people turn to letting go

by furiousflamewolf



Category: Tennis RPF
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Falling In Love, First Time, Forbidden Love, Hurt/Comfort, Love, M/M, Secret Relationship, Smut, Teacher-Student Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-17
Updated: 2020-03-20
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:48:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 33,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22292089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/furiousflamewolf/pseuds/furiousflamewolf
Summary: To say that Jamie and Alex are in an unconventional relationship is an understatement.
Relationships: Jamie Murray/Alex de Minaur
Comments: 72
Kudos: 25





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [zsab1016](https://archiveofourown.org/users/zsab1016/gifts).



> For my bro @zsab1016 who put up with my ramblings and this pairing. I am hopeless. I hope you will like it. ❤❤❤
> 
> Song: Small steps, Tom Gregory.
> 
> You should listen to it while reading. 😁😁😁

The clock on the wall right under the classroom door was ticking away the seconds slowly. Too slowly for Alex liking who kept drumming his fingers on his table impatiently. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. A small sigh escaped the Australians mouth as he watched his history professor, Mr. Murray, move. His beige checkered trousers and his equally beige turtleneck not fitting in with the rest of the classroom.

Alex followed him with his eyes, as the professor pushed up the glasses on his nose. A book in hand his gaze fixed on it as his lips moved to tell the class what was going on. Biting his lover lip to keep quiet Alex observed as the glasses were put on the table so that the professor could rub his eyes tiredly. That sight was absolutely mesmerizing to him. Glancing at the clock impatiently Alex frowned. They still had 20 minutes. 

Way too much in his opinion. This was the last class of the day. 

His friend Joe Salisbury sighed dramatically and miserably as he hid his head behind the thick history book.

"This is so fucking boring", he hissed towards Alex. 

The Australian shrugged. He loved this subject. Had also thought about enganging in a discussing with his professor but after having done that previous times and noticing that his fellow classmates were annoyed, him and the professor had decided to talk during his office hours. Which was way easier.

Since Alex was exchange student from Australia he had to present a special presentation in order to get a mark and be able to study in his home country. Alex had decided to choose history. Because he liked history but also because of prof. Murray who was en excellent teacher. Very elegant. Alex shook his head.

"Thats it for today class. You are dismissed. I will see you tomorrow. Have a nice day."

Joe whined in happiness next to him and lowered the book. Alex patting his shoulder in sympathy. His and prof. Murrays eyes meeting for a split second, before the professor closed his book and started packing his things.

As they exited the class and shouldered their bags Joe asked: "Do you need to meet up with him again ??" Making a slightly disgusting face.

Alex nodded.

"I really need that presentation. But I'll see you tomorrow. We can hang out. You told me you wanted to show me the tennis club right ??"

Joe beamed and nodded. Bidding Alex goodbye by hugging him briefly and waving. Alex waved back and opened his backpack to grab his snapback, putting it on his head before walking around the long corridor to prof. Murrays office. The professors office was located in the farest corner of the building, not that Alex minded. Since he liked history he also liked ancient buildings. 

Taking a slight detour, Alex went to the bathroom to splash some water to his face. His cross necklace that hia brother had gifted him slipping from his cardigan, hitting the mirror lightly. Slipping it back inside of his shirt, Alex left the bathroom and rounded the corner which lead him to prof. Murrays office.

Without hesitation the younger knocked on the door. Not having to wait 5 seconds when he heard the professors voice telling him to come in. The door was pushed open with a screech. The corridor had been empty since all students had left the grounds already. It was 5 pm.

Prof. Murray was sitting at his desk. One hand on his purple coffee mug his younger brother had gifted him, the other holding up some paper so he could read the notes on his desk. Upon hearing Alex enter he lifted his head. A small smile gracing his lips, Alex raising and eyebrow at him. The papers were placed back, nearly on the desk and moved to the corner.

Alex grinned. His hand turning the lock on the door with a click. Pulled the blinds down setting his backpack next to the bin. In three long strides he was in front of the desk. A devilish grin on his face, licking his lips slightly. His hands pushing against the desk as he leaned into it.

"What can I do for you, De Minaur ??"

"I think you know already professor", Alex replied cheekily.

Jamie looked up, pushing up the glasses on his nose. His face not revealing one emotion.

"Oh, do I ??", he asked.

"Hmmm", Alex hummed before grabbing the glasses and putting them on the table. Jamie not objecting as the younger rounded the corner and stood in front of him. A hand cupping his cheek, making Jamies eyes flutter shut and him breathing in sharply.

Their lips met in a hungry passionate kiss. Jamie biting the younger ones bottom lip, making him yelp before deepening the kiss to swallow that sounds. By then Alex was practically sitting in Jamies lap. Grinding their hips together for some friction. Both of his hands on Jamies cheeks. They speparated when the need for air became too much. Pressing their foreheads together.

"You little demon", Jamie whispered against his lips and Alex laughed gently. Hiding his face in the older ones neck.

"Not my fault when you look so sexy. Walking up and down. Pushing your glasses up when you read", the younger one pouted against his neck.

"I look sexy huh", Jamie made an effort to emphasize the word sexy which send shivers down Alex spine.

"I hate you", he mumbled.

"No you don't darling", Jamie said running a hand through Alex hair. Smiling gently at him.

"No I don't", Alex agreed taking Jamies face in his hands to kiss him again. And again. And again. 

"Can't get enough of me huh darling", it was Jamies turn to grin cheekily. Alex made a disgruntled noise in the back of his throat. Jamie caressing the younger ones thighs. The professors warm and heavy hands making him shiver and whine. 

"My little koala."

Alex stayed in Jamies lap for a while. The only noise being present was their ragged breathing and the clock on the wall. What they were doing here was unacceptable. Both of them knew that. They knew about the risks. If they were to be discovered Jamies career would be over. Alex would be send back to Australia, most probably. 

They couldn't care about that. Not now. Not when they were in eachothers company.

Alex had pillowed his head on Jamies chest. Blinking sleepily. He should return to his dorm but he didn't want to leave. This thing that was going on between them had started a few months ago. When Alex had to show up to discuss his presentation. 

"You should go back, darling. I still have to finish these papers anyway."

"I don't want to leave you. I wished we didn't have to hide like this…"

Jamie sighed unhappily.

"I know darling. I know", Jamie whispered against his hair. It was unfair. Cruel even but there was nothing they could do about it. 

"At least we have this. At least we can be together like this. I know it's not optimal but thats what we have. I know thats not what you want darling."

Alex shook his head against Jamies chest.

"I'd rather hide and be with you this way than not being with you at all."

"Go now darling. It's late. I will see you tomorrow."

Alex nodded. Kissing Jamie goodbye, grabbing his backpack and unlocking the door with a click. Jamie sighing as the door closed behind the younger. Grabbing his glasses and re-focusing on his papers.

The consequences of his actions would haunt him soon enough, for now he basked in the radiating light this young man gave off. 

Breathing life into him like a newly born creature.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A new life starts for Alex.

6 months ealier

Nick had been preparing breakfast. Eggs and bacon sizzling in the pan as he whistled to a tune, a table cloth on his shoulders. 

"ALEX ?? You awake kiddo ?? There is a letter on the table for you."

Alex trotted down the stairs, rubbing his still damp hair with a towel which was slung across his shoulders. Nick was about to plate their breakfast and set it on the table with some buttered toast on the side. Plus orange juice. 

Alex smiled at him and hugged him in greeting.

"Slept well, kiddo ??"

Alex grinned and nodded.

"You said there was a letter for me ??"

Nick nodded and pointed towards the letter on the other end of the table while drying his hands and sitting at the table. Grabbing a piece of bacon on munching on it. Alex turning the letter around before opening it.

His eyes widening.

Nick frowned in concern.

"Are you ok kiddo ??"

The letter was pushed in Nicks face who skimmed it before his eyes widened too.

"You got accepted ??", he asked not really surprised. His brother was a genius, Nick knew that but he had been anxiously waiting for weeks for this letter to arrive. Nick pinched his cheek gently.

"Knew you would get accepted, kiddo", he said with a wide grin. 

His little brother was a genius in Nicks mind there hadn't been a shred of doubt that Alex wouldn't get accepted. The younger had worried about that. He had applied to numerous cities around the UK, Ireland and Scotland. Scotland had been his dream though.

"I am going to Scotland", Alex said jumping out his chair excitedly. His arms in the air a big smile on his face before he hugged Nick tight. His brother patting his back gently. After everything they had been through Alex deserved this.

"So proud of you kiddo. So incredibly proud."

There was a slightly sad expression on Alex face. Nick frowning in concern.

"You'll be alone if I leave for a year."

Nick squeezed his shoulder and gave him a big grin.

"A year is nothing lil bro. You'll be back in no time. Go out. Explore the world."

The letter said that everything had been prepared for him. The plane ticket had been included. He would live on campus. The date for his flight was in 1 week. The semester would start on the 1st September. Alex giggled he had serious Harry Potter vibes. Nick would read those to him when he was younger. It had been a year since they had moved out.

Their adopted parents had been abusive, not understanding Alex' genius so Nick his older adoptive brother had taken matters in his own hands. Working day and night to get them out of that toxic environment, allowing Alex to bloom like a flower. 

"Shouldn't you be at the beach already ??"

"I have today off kiddo. I will be very lonely without you the year. Who should I tease huh ??"

"Hey", Alex laughed.

"In all seriousness kiddo I will miss you but this is your dream and I would never prevent you from reaching it. Just promise to call me once in a while", the last sentence was so utterly dramatic Alex had to giggle.

"As if I won't call you Nick. You are everything I have left. You made this possible for me. I will miss you too."

"Shush now. We still have a week. Lets go in the basketball court and enjoy these last days together."  
With that Nick slung an arm around the younger ones shoulder both of them laughing and whistling.

The days passed by fast. Way too fast. Alex was busy with packing. Half of his wardrobe had been packed in three different suitcases. Shoes. Clothes. Some book he wanted to take with him. He could also buy some things in Scotland. Nick was leaning in the doorway, his arms crossed over his, observing the younger one pack.

"Tomorrow is the day huh ??"

Alex turned around and smiled, nodding. He was so incredibly excited. The next day Nick drove them to the airport. Music blaring from the radio. Alex looking out of the window. He would miss home and Nick of course. The older hadn't talked the whole ride to the airport. Choosing to remain silent even as Alex checked in his luggage. Both of them stood at the gate in silence. 

"See you in a year then, big bro."

Nick grabbed him by the shoulders and hugged him tight. Alex pillowing his head on his brothers shoulder, squeezing back. All their lives they had been together. It would be the first time they'd separate.

"Promise to call me. Not everyday but when you can. Or at least text. I worry about you kiddo. You are on the other side of the world."

Alex nodded and they performed their bro handshake before the younger shouldered his backpack.

"Love you kiddo. Be careful. Have fun."

Nick waved and Alex waved back before he disappeared behind the security check point. He felt lonely all of a sudden but like Nick had said it would only be a year. Putting his headphones on his head Alex walked through the gates. The plane was big. Very big. Soon Australia was just a small point in an endless sea. Hours later after Alex had fallen asleep they landed in Glasgow. 

Someone from the school would pick him up and escort him to his dorm. The first thing Alex did when he arrived at his dorm, ignoring his luggage, was fall into the mattress and facetime Nick. He had promised his to let him know when he arrived. Nick picking up almost immediately.

"Glad you made it to Scotland ok lil bro. Now rest. Get settled. Explore the campus. The next few days will pass by fast. Love you kiddo."

Nick had been right. The next few days passed by in a blur. Alex got settled. Got his papers from the school. The days would be long but he was excited for his classes. Still it was very strange being away from home. He missed Nick. They talked as much as they could. His brothers nightshift at the bar would start soon so their talking time would be limited. 

He owed everything to his brother and he wanted to make him proud. Nick had always believed in him. With that Alex fell asleep. Tomorrow would be the big day. 

Despite the headmaster giving him a map Alex managed to get lost on his first day. Bumping into a guy accidentally and landing on the floor.

"Oh I am so sorry about that. Let me help you."

The guy was tall and was holding out his hand.

"Name's Joe Salisbury but you can call me Joe. Sorry again. You seem a bit confused. Can I help ??"

Alex took the outstretched hand and dusted himself off.

"Nice to meet you Joe. I am looking for Mr. Skupskis class."

"Which one ??"

Alex cocked his head to the side confused.

"Which Skupski ?? Neal or Ken ?? Both brothers teach here", Joe clarified.

Grabbing his timetable from the back of his jeans, Alex handed it over.

"Oh Neal ok. I have class with him too. Follow me we can go together if you want."

Alex nooded and smiled, following Joe. Both of them managing to get into the class before Mr. Skupski had arrived. Joe held out his hand. Alex grinning and high fiving him at the prospect of having it made in time. Joe had turned his head to ask something when a blond haired man entered the class in a hurry.

"Good morning class. Sorry the traffic was crazy today. Anyway lets start. Silence !!! You can continue your private conversation somewhere else Evans, Edmund."

The class got silent immediately. Neal Skupski taught English.

"What does his brother teach then ??", Alex whispered lowering his head to the side.

"Math", Joe whispered back. Alex nodded in understanding. After that class Alex and Joe went to grab some sandwiches for lunch.

"Hey do you mind showing me your time table again so I can tell you where to go ??"

Alex nodded and pushed the piece of paper across the table before taking a bite out of his sandwich. Watching Joe study it.

"Oh we have quiet a few classes together. Thats nice. Oh you also have professor Murray in history", Joe grumbled the last part. Making Alex arch an eyebrow in question.

"He's not good ??"

Joe rolled his eyes and simply replied with a: "You will see."

The other classed passed by in a blur. It was already two pm. The jet lag has gotten to Alex. He felt incredibly tired all of a sudden. Still they had this one class with professor Murray who according to Joe wasn't such a good professor. Nick had always taught him to neber judge a book by it's cover. He'd have to see for himself first because he could say prof. Murray was a bad professor.

Joe and him had sat down relatively high. 

"I really hate this class", Joe sighed and put his head on his folded arms dramatically "prof. Murray is so fucking boring. That man looks like he is walking with a stick up his ass I swear. His voice is so shriek my ears bleed for hours."

As soon as Joe was finished talking a tall man dressed in beige checkered trousers, a beige suit jacket and turtleneck, glasses on his nose entered the class. Setting his bag on the table and grabbing a book from the inside.

"Good afternoon class. Glad so many of you returned. I hope we will have a nice year with eachother. Now please turn your books to page 206."

Joe gagged next to him while Alex gapped, his mouth open like a fish. It was like thunder had struck him.

"Such a nice voice…"

Joe turned to him. Looking at Alex worriedly.

"Hey. You said something ??"

Alex shook himself. Oh God had he said that out loud ?? 

"I am fine. Sorry. Can I look with you. I haven't been able to get this book. But I ordered it. It should be here in a few days. So sorry for the inconvenience."

Joe patted his shoulder and smiled widly.

"No problem mate really. Still don't know why one would listen to this boredom."

Professor Murray was walking up and down while having the book in hand. Reading out of it. While occasionally asking questions. He was leaning against the table looking around the class. Grabbing his glasses and rubbing his eyes briefly.

"So who of you can tell me about the French Revolution. Lets start with something easy. When did it start ??"

Alex hand shot up almost automatically. He was mesmerized by that voice. The professor cocked his head to the side surprised before putting his glasses back on his nose. Pointing at Alex and nodding.

"1789 professor."

"Very good. What is your name ??"

"Alex De Minaur."

"Very good mr. De Minaur."

"Next question. Who was one of the main leaders of the French Revolution ??"

Alex hand shot up again. It was like someone had electrocuted him. In a good way. That voice made his mouth go dry instantly. It was nice and smooth like honey.

"Mr. De Minaur", prof. Murray said the tip of one of his glasses in his mouth.

"Maximilien Robespierre."

Prof. Murray nodded. This continued for the rest of the hour. Prof. Murray asking questions. Alex answering them. Then prof. Murray dismissed them. Joe sighed dramatically.

"Damn you are really informed."

Alex shrugged. He had always been interested in history. When they had some money left Nick would buy him books and Alex would devour the knowledge. Facts and dates were easy to remember. Him and Joe were about to leave when prof. Murray stopped them or rather him.

"Mr. De Minaur. A word please."

"See you tomorrow, Joe." Alex waved and the brit waved back before disappearing. The professor was leaning against the desk.

"Very impressive. I heard from Neal, I mean Mr. Skupski that you are an exchange student from Australia. Welcome to Glasgow and Scotland. And more importantly to our school. I hope you will feel well here. On another note, I noticed that the class didn't really like our discussions. I understand not everyone is passioned about history. So if you want to discuss anything further I could offer my office hours. That will be it. Have a nice day and enjoy your time here. See you tomorrow."

Like they had established Alex went to prof. Murrays office hours to discuss and gush about history. Im between going to try out tennis which Joe had suggested. The taller brit played himself and since Alex had said he had never played it was the perfect opportunity to try it out.

"I think I am more used to playing basketball with my brother or going surfing you know. But tennis is not bad really."

"Do you miss your brother ??", Joe asked as he shouldered his racket bag.

"A lot but without him, me being here wouldn't have been possible. Oh damn I forgot time. I had an appointment with prof. Murray for a presentation."

Joe frowned.

"I need to hold this extensive presentation in one subject and get it graded to be able to continue my studies in Australia."

Joe nodded.

"Oh yeah right. I sometimes forget you are an exchange student buddy. Feels like we have known eachother forever."

Alex laughed. 

"Sorry I need to discuss with him how to prepare on that. It's not due for while but if I can get some books or recommandations beforehand it's easier for me to prepare."

Joe sighed. "You really want to hold it in history ??"

Alex shrugged. "Why not ?? I really enjoy the subject. Prof. Murray is actually amazing. I really love discussing stuff with him."

Joe made a face but nodded. Waving goodbye as Alex made his way across campus to prof. Murrays office. He knew the way by heart now. He hadn't lied when he had said he enjoyed prof. Murrays class. Maybe he even enjoyed his company ?? Alex heart sped up at that. He shook his head. 

This was his professor. Who was way way older than him. Once Alex had woken up with a hard on dreaming about the professor. Who had been doing things with his glasses and tongue. Oh God. Shaking his head, Alex knocked.

The blinds were half open which meant no one was inside. Still Alex had manners. He waited for the professor to call him in.

"Yes. Come in."

Prof. Murray or Jamie as he had allowed to call him that during the office hours had just put his glasses on the table. Rubbing his eyes and grabbing the mug of already cold coffee to sip on it. Making a face.

"Is the coffee cold again professor ??"

"I told you to call me Jamie, Alex."

The Australian blushed slightly and nodded. There was a reason his brother had given him the nickname demon. It was time to showcase that. He had seen how the professor looked at him when he thought that Alex wasn't looking. It was time to show him that those feeling were mutual. Alex really hoped that he hadn't misinterpreted the signs. 

"Professor", he started.

Jamie looked up from the paper in question. 

Alex had leaned against the table. The palms of his hands pushing against it. His face inches from Jamies. A devilish grin on his face. Maybe he was really a demon. 

"What do you think you are doing De Minaur ??"

"What does it look like I am doing professor ??", Alex answered cheekily, his heart beating in his chest rapidly. 

He had leaned in, his hand slipping and papers scattering across the floor. Jamies eyes widened when their lips met in a featherlight kiss. The younger didn't want to overstep his boundries. Jamie grabbed his neck and deeped the kiss to Alex suprise. They broke apart when there was a knock on the door.

"I will see you tomorrow De Minaur."

Alex nodded. Grabbed his backpack and with rosy cheeks exited the office. His heart beating in his chest rapidly.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jamie and Alex both have dreams and realizations.

Jamie was breathing heavily as Alex disappeared out of the door. His heart beating at such an unhealthy heartrate that the professor feared he would get a heartattack. Grabbing the handkerchief from his breast pocket he first cleaned up his glasses who had become slightly foggy, before setting them on the table all together. A single sweatpearl making it's way down his temple which was wiped away quickly before Jamie composed himself.

"Are you alright, Jamie ??"

The voice snapped him out of his thoughts. Shaking his head he nodded. Thats when he noticed the papers scattered on the floor. Oh right. The kiss and the papers. The fucking kiss though. Jamie was sure his head was beet red already. 

"Let me help you", Neal said grabbing the papers and putting them on the desk neatly, "How did that happen ??"

Jamie cocked his head to the side confused before he realized that Neal meant the papers scattered on the floor.

"I had to sneeze while I had gotten up to get a pencil, papers in hand and then they were on the floor." He lied, easily.

Neal hummed and nodded.

"So that kid…"

Jamies head snapped upwards. His eyes wide in fear.

"What about the kid ??", he asked trying to keep his voice from shaking. God damnit he had just kissed his student. How the hell did that happen ??

"I mean you already know he is an exchange student from Australia. I wonder what he will hold his presentation in. Heard he is this genius wonder kid or something."

Jamie just shrugged. His head was hazy and there wasn't a coherent thought in it for now. He just wanted to go home if he was honest. Lay in bed. Try not to think about the fact that he had kissed one of his students. Oh God what had he done. 

Unconsciously Jamie touched his lower lip. His tongue swiping against it briefly. Trying to savour the boys taste. He sighed and covered his eyes with his hand, his hand in his neck.

"Are you ok Jamie ?? You look like you are about to faint. Go home. It's late."

Thank God Jamie didn't have to make up an excuse. He just nodded and put the papers in his drawer. Packed his bag. Folded the handkerchief unceremoniously into his breastpocket and locked the door to his office with shaky hands. Thank God Neal didn't say anything about that. 

That small kiss had caused his body to react in ways it hadn't reacted in years and Jamie was terrified. Utterly terrified. The kid was his student. He was way way younger than him. Later in his life Jamie had realized that he was interested in people that were younger than him. Maybe it was their youth that attracted him, he had no idea. Couldn't really pinpoint it but he had always made sure to surpress the urges. Made sure to be as professional as he could.

Maybe becoming a professor had been the wrong choice. He was always surrounded by people younger than him. Until now it hadn't been a problem. Until now. Until that boy had come along. That beautiful, smart boy. Jamies head was spinning and he knew he shouldn't drive in that condition.

He needed a cold shower. Immediately.

He seriously considered jumping into the shower fully clothed at this point. That boy had robbed him of every rational thought. What had he thought, kissing him like that ?? They had been lucky that Neal always knocked. 

He had to end this before it really began but Jamie was also only a man. His body was reacting naturally, the cold shower not helping at all. Jamies knees threatened to buckle under him when he came. He could feel the boys lips on his own. Asked himself what would have happened if Neal hadn't knocked. The cold shower should have cleared his head. It didn't. 

Alex devilish grin appearing behind his eyeslids. That knowing, knowing smile. The boy had been fully aware of what he had been doing. Jamie had just been the fish that had fallen for his lure. 

Helpless. Powerless. God he shouldn't have done that…

Pressing the palms of his hands against his eyelids, Jamie breathed out slowly through his nose. He had to keep the boy at arms length. He couldn't forbid him to come to his office hours or start discussion in class but he had to do something. Anything. 

He was ruining the boys life. It was typical of him to be the weak one here. Andy had always been stronger than him. Maybe he should call his brother ?? At this point Jamie didn't know what to do. 

He should probably tell the boy that the kiss was a one time thing. In his head everything had sounded easy. So easy. 

The next morning his body betrayed him again. 

He had dreamt of Alex. They hadn't just kissed. They had done other stuff. Stuff a teacher shouldn't do with his student. Under that category fell also kissing. At this rate Jamie would have to shower at school too. This boy had him wrapped around his little finger. A devilish grin on his face.

Jamie was weak. So weak.

Alex had been laying in bed replaying the kiss over and over again. Hiding his face in his hands. Nick was right he was a little cheeky demon. Speaking of Nick, Alex had considered calling his brother right away but in Austrialia it was in the middle of the night and Nick needed to sleep.

So Alex was left alone with his thoughts. In hindsight it had been stupid to just kiss the professor like that. It could have ended in a million ways. Alex wouldn't have done it if he would have thought that prof. Murray would have been against it. The professor had given in quiet easily to the Australian. 

What had surprised Alex the most had been that Jamie had kissed him back.

Oh great he was on first name basis in his head now. Prof. Murray had just become Jamie. Great Alex, he scolded himself. Massaging his temples Alex asked himself what the professor would do tomorrow. Would he get reported ?? Or suspended ?? 

It wasn't his fault when the professor walked around like that. He also couldn't understand what Joes problem was. Jamies class was great. He may have been a little bit old fashioned but his class wasn't boring at all. And that voice. God that voice and accent. The way he would bite his glasses when he would take them of briefly. 

Alex was so into those glasses. He wanted to take them off the professors nose and look into his eyes. He had to meet up with the professor tomorrow again. Thats what they had established. The presentation was still important. At this point Alex wasn't thinking about the presentation anymore but the professor. 

Biting his lower lip, Alex hand slipped under his underwear. Whimpering gently. Of course his body was interested. He was still young. The professors lips had tasted like coffee. Faintly. Alex could still taste it on his lips. 

The next day, Alex had a feeling that the professor was avoiding his look. Maybe he had really spooked him. They continued with their banter, talking about history in class. It seemed as if everything was normal. Joe was whining and moaning like a wounded animal next to him. 

"It's going to be ok buddy."

Alex patted his shoulder. 

"We should meet up after school. Play Tennis or go out to eat something. Come on please Alex."

"I have to meet up with prof. Murray again."

"Again ?? Oh come on man…"

"I promise tomorrow you can take me and show me the tennis courts and after that we can eat something. How does that sound ??"

Joe beamed at him like a lighthouse. He nodded excitedly.

"See you tomorrow then. Can't wait. I am so happy."

Alex grinned and waved at him, shouldering his back he was about to make his way out of the class.

"Mr. De Minaur. I expect you in my office."

The professors had taken his glasses off and Alex gulped. He had asked himself what color his eyes were. Maybe today he would get an answer to his question. Nodding Alex took a detour to grab something to eat. Nick had texted him whenever he could. His older brother really worried about him. Lost in thoughts about prof. Murray mostly, Alex nearly forgot he had to visit the professor in his office.

Knocking on the door he waited. He knew no one was inside due to the blinds not being fully closed.

"Come in. Have a seat."

Holding Jamies gaze Alex didn't sit down however. Confidantely he walked up to the desk. His backpack forgotten by the chair.

"We kissed."

Jamie stiffened. He was teacher. He had to deny it and protect his students but with this one it was different. This one was bold. A little demon.

"You are indeed a little demon you know."

Alex gave him a wide grin.

"Thats what my brother says."

"I dreamt about you professor. We kissed. You did stuff to me you know."

Jamie choked on his own spit. Coughing miserably. Damn the kid was straightforward. A hand covered his, Jamie hadn't even noticed that Alex had moved. Standing next to the chair his eyes black. Like a demons. 

Jamie was a fish on a lure.

"What did I do to you, kid ??"

"Stuff", Alex answered simply. Licking his lips and leaning against the table invading Jamies personal space. His free hand grabbing the matching beige tie. Tugging at it briefly to get Jamies attention.

"I want to kiss you again professor. Can't get it out of my head. You really think I haven't noticed how you look at me. Am I a snack to you ?? Do you want to devour me ??"

Jamie whimpered. His nails digging into the leather of his chair so hard to leave imprints. He was sure his face was red. Alex licking his lips, their faces inches apart. 

"You cheeky little scamp."

Alex grinned and leaned in for a kiss. He had wanted to keep it brief but a hand curled around his neck, keeping him in place. Jamies tongue pushing against his lips asking for permission. The demon grinning satisfied. They moaned into eachother mouths. Alex was practically sitting in Jamies lap by now when the older broke apart.

Alex frowning and pouting.

"Lock the door. Pull the blinds down", Jamie ordered with authority in his voice. Sending shivers down Alex spine who jumped out of his lap to pull the blinds down and lock the door. 

"So sexy when you get bossy professor", Alex teased. Grabbing Jamies glasses and setting them on the table. Proceeding to sit on his lap properly. The palms of his hands cupping his cheek. Looking into his eyes intently. 

"What are you doing ??", Jamie asked hoarsly.

"I always asked myself what color your eyes are professor."

Jamie looked up in genuine surprise.

"My eyes ??", he parroted back confused.

Alex hummed. Jamies hands on his thighs burning hot like lava. The kissed again. Moaning into eachothers mouths.

"We shouldn't do this… Why did you kiss me the first time ??"

Alex tiltes his head in confusion.

"I mean you are not after good grades you already have them. Why would you kiss an old man like me. There are guys in your own age group wh-"

Jamie was stopped by Alex putting a finger on his lips. His other hand falling into Jamies lap. Feeling the buldge in his trousers. Jamie gulped loudly. He hadn't wanted the boy to notice he had gotten a hard on from just kissing. He wasn't a teenager. 

"I want to make you feel better professor."

"We can't. We shouldn't have kissed the first time. Or the second time. You need to leave. At once."

Alex cupping his cheek made Jamie flinch slightly. Losing himself in those warm, dark eyes. It was Alex time to be bossy.

"Let me make you feel good and then if you still want me to leave I will."

Mouth dry as a desert, Jamie nodded.

"I just need you to guide me."

"Whatever you want darling", Jamie mumbled under his breath. His head in his neck and his eyes closed. Not noticing how Alex looked at him, eyes wide in surprise, a faint blush spreading across his cheeks.

With shaky fingers Alex undid Jamies buckle belt. Opening the the trousers and unzipping them. He was surprised to see white boxers and not beige colored ones. 

"Here I was thinking you'd match your underwear to your style."

Jamie opened one eye and raised his eyebrow. 

"You thought about what boxers I wear ??"

Alex blushed. Shaking his head. Before getting up and grabbing the glasses. Putting them on Jamies nose.

"I think you look sexy with those glasses. Do you actually need them or do you wear them because you are a prof."

"Actually need them kiddo."

"Don't call me kiddo."

"Sorry darling", Jamie purred. A satisfied grin on his face when the tips of Alex ears turned red in embarrassment. The younger one pushing the trousers open. His palm feeling the hot, warm buldge beneath. A sigh escaped his lips. 

Oh boy.

"You don't need to do anything you don't want to."

Alex nodded. He wanted to do this. It shouldn't be too difficult right ?? He did it to himself. He could do it to Jamie too. It was just a handjob. Pushing the boxers back, Alex took his professors hard length in his hand and stroked it. Watching Jamies face for any sign. Soft sighs escaped his lips.

"You are doing well darling. It's ok. It feels good." One of Jamies hands was running through Alex hair reassuringly. Alex purring like a cat at that while he picked up the pace.

Who would have ever thought that he would be kneeling in front of his history professor and giving him a handjob. 

Alex squeezed the base before his thumb used the precum to help him stroke Jamie even faster. Jamie had muffled his moans by pressing his arm against his mouth. His toes curling in his expensive Oxfords. He couldn't even warn Alex when he came in his hand. 

The Australian was blushing hard. Jamie coming down from his high to grab the younger ones chin.

"That was amazing darling."

Grabbing the handkerchief from his breastpocket, Jamie handed it to the younger who cleaned his hands and got up from the floor. While Jamie tucked himself in and zipped up his pants. An awkward silence befalling them. 

"I… I should leave…"

Jamie panicked. Grabbing Alex wrist to stop him.

"I am sorry darling. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

Using the snapback on his head to cover his blushing face, Alex nodded.

"I like it when you call me darling. It makes me feel special. Not like some kind of whore or kid or whatever or a one time thing."

Jamie grabbed his chin making him look up.

"Oh darling you are not a one time thing. You are smart and beautiful. Look at you."

When Jamie pulled him in for a kiss, Alex melted into him. Giggling when their foreheads were pressed together. One of Jamies hands stroking his cheek. A one hand on Alex' hip to keep him there.

"We can forget about this if you want and go on to being a simple teacher and student."

Alex shook his head immediately. Jamie was nice. And attentive and handsome but that was a bonus.

"I don't want you to feel pressured darling."

"I like it."

"Huh ??"

"I like it when you call me darling."

Jamie smiled and pulled him in for a kiss again. His heart singing in his chest. He knew he would get rejected but for now he basked in the youthfulness this young man provided.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex spends time with a friend and with Jamie.

Alex was watching Joe hit with his tennis coach Mr. Ram. The Australian knew that his friend was desperate to spend some time with him, which was understandable. The younger tried to split his time between Joe and Jamie, although when he was honest he would rather be in the office and chill with his boyfriend. Alex sighed softly. Thinking about Jamie made him feel warm and fuzzy. The older had told him to spend some time with Joe. Plus he was a busy man and needed to get stuff done.

Alex grinned to himself. It was probably better he was hanging out on the tennis court with Joe than being at the office. Jamie wouldn't be able to focus with the younger being around him. A ball flew past his head and Alex flinched, slightly.

"Sorry. Sorry Alex. Are you ok ??"

Alex grinned and gave Joe a thumbs up. The other releasing a breath of relief. 

"Sorry I am kind of boring here really. But thanks for showing and trying to teach me how to play tennis but you know basketball is more my sport."

Alex gave his friend a a wide grin while Joe dried himself with a towel before plopping down next to him, taking a sip out of his water bottle.

"We can still go play some basektball. I mean you can teach me. You said your brother used to teach you and some others when you were younger ??"

The Australian nodded. Before Nick had taken the bartender job he had indeed taught a small class of kids. It was more street basketball than real basektball. His brother had enjoyed it immensely. Since Nick liked it, Alex had also grown up with it.

"You are the perfect height to be a basektball player Joe. It's gonna be fun really."

Joe blushed and hid his face behind the towel. Alex was looking at his phone. Smiling to himself. Joe cocking his head to the side confused.

"What are you smiling about ??"

The younger bit his tongue to compose himself. He had been texting Jamie. His boyfriend had probably thrown himself at work again. Correction of exams and stuff. 

"Send my brother a video of you playing tennis. Told him we might try it out when I get back."

The lie slipped from his lips easily.

Joe sighed. His knee and shoulder knocking against Alex' lightly. He had totally forgotten about the exchange. To him it felt as if he had known Alex all his life. The guy was smart and handsome and so nice. The brit was sure he was blushing when he opened his mouth to say something. In that moment his stomach grumbled.

"Oh right. Practise must have been very intense. It looked intense. I promised to take you out to eat. So we are still going to try that new buger place you suggested. I am a tiny bit hungry too if I am honest. Plus you have been training enough. Come on."

Joe grinned and shouldered his racketbag. Jamie hadn't been answering so Alex would go have dinner with his friend and bring Jamie some too. He was sure that his boyfriend hadn't eaten yet. He got lost in his work a lot of times. Forgetting to eat or drink. 

"You know", Alex said after they had ordered their burgers and found a spot to sit in, "Maybe I will let you teach me some tennis but in return I want us to go to the skating park. I think you'll like skateboarding. I saw that you can loan boards so you don't have to buy one."

Joe beamed at him. Unwrapping his burger, clicking it against Alex before both of them ate hungrily. 

"Say Alex…"

Alex lifted his head from the french fry he was just grabbing and looked at Joe in question.

"Why do you spend that much time with prof. Murray anyway. You are genius. Why go to him for guidance. Sorry I don't mean to sound rude I just don't really like him as a professor."

Alex blinked at his friend for a moment before composing himself. Waving a hand in the air dismissively.

"I am just interested in history. It wouldn't matter who taught it really."

Joe nodded. They ate in silence mostly. 

"I am gonna buy a menu to take to the dorms with me for dinner. Wasn't really hungry now but I could be in a few more hours."

"Hey um... I was thinking... There is this new movie coming out in a week. Would you like to go with me there ?? I don't really want to go alone. I mean you don't have to really I…", Joe was babbling and blushing he was sure. Oh God what was he doing here ?? It was worth a try. Alex didn't seem to see anyone. 

The Australian smiled widly and nodded. Jamie had scolded him slightly for not spending time with people his age group. Alex had grumbled. He liked spending time with his boyfriend ok. Alex had grabbed his food and both boys exited the establishment. It wasn't too far away from the dorms. Except Alex would take a detour anyway.

His dorm was on the other side. Joe hugged him and bid him goodbye. Alex waving at him before turning around and walking towards Jamies office. Since the older handn't texted him, Alex assumed he was still working. Indeed as the younger rounded the corner there was still light shining through the door.

Alex knocked. It was already 7pm. No one would be there anyway but better safe than sorry really. Carefully the door was pushed opened. Alex sighed at the sight. Jamie was slumped forward. His head in his arm, asleep. With a small smile Alex walked up to the older one and shook him gently. Jamie flinching hard. Rubbing his eyes.

"Darling ??", he asked sleepily. His glasses having left imprints on his face, Alex removing them gently before setting the paper bag on the table, careful not to stain any paper with grease.

"I brought you dinner. Joe invited me to this burger joint so I got you something too. You haven't eaten have you ?? I know you babe, you forget where you are sometimes. Good thing I am here now." 

Alex puffed his chest out proudly, smiling. Jamie blushing at the petname. The first time Alex had called him that had been shortly after their first shared experience in the office. Jamie spitting half his coffee out, splashing it across papers. The younger apologizing profously. He hadn't meant to get Jamie in trouble, in hindsight their whole relationship screamed trouble, if they were to be discovered Jamies career would be over…

"You need a break babe please. Do it for me", Alex said batting his eye lashes knowing fully well Jamies resistence would crumble immediately. A satisfied grin appearing on the younger ones lips as Jamie nodded.

While Alex climbed into Jamies lap the older unwrapped the burger and moaned at the taste. Alex was so thoughtful. So kind and Jamie knew in the back of his head that he didn't deserve him, still he was treasuring every moment they spend together. The younger had place his head on Jamies chest, sighing softly.

"You can take a nap in the armchair if you want darling ??"

Jamie had bought that armchair after Alex had started hanging out in his office. Refusing to leave and falling asleep in a hard chair by the desk. While Jamie finished papers Alex would take books from his shelf, sit in the armchair crosslegged, a blanket covering him and would read or observe Jamie who would scribble and read. 

"I want to go home. With you. It's nearly 9 Jamie, please… Plus I might have told my brother about you, us…"

Jamie had just taken a sip out of his mug when he spat everything out again. Thankfully he didn't hit any papers this time.

"You told your brother ?!?!?!?", Jamie squeaked scandalized his eyes wide in fear, "Oh my God I am a dead man…"

"No. No. No. Babe please calm down. Oh my God I didn't mean to upset you…", Alex tried to reassure the older one who looked like he was having a panic attack. Understandably so. Jamie had hidden his face in his hands.

"I only told him I am seeing someone ok. He doesn't know the details and I won't tell him. Please don't be upset. He called me out on that if I am honest…"

A week before

Alex had just come back from falling asleep on Jamies new armchair. If he kept it up his back would hurt by the time he was thirty. Still he couldn't help himself. It was the only way the older and him could spend time together without it getting suspicious. Jamie had even suggested they go to his house and chill there. On the weekends. Neither of them wanted to miss the other. They knew facetime and calls wouldn't do it for them. Plus Alex knew how insecure Jamie was.

After they had kissed and cuddled and done other stuff in Jamies bed. Stuff a teacher and his sudent shouldn't absolutely do with eachother, the Australian had fallen asleep. He had woken up on Jamies naked chest two hours later. His boyfriends arm curled protectively around his waist. 

"Jamie ?? Jamie. I have to leave. My brother said he'd call me. I can't sleep here although I would do nothing else than this. I will come tomorrow and we can continue where we left off. So sorry babe."

A kiss was pressed against Jamies lips and Alex hurried home. Thank God busses were still driving. Just as Alex unlocked his door, his phone rang. Nicks name and face flashing across the screen. With a wide smile Alex picked up.

"Hey there kiddo. Feels like ages we last talked."

Alex rolled his eyes in fake annoyance. His lips turning upwards almost automatically. Jamie was still in his head and Alex was sure he was blushing like a ripe tomato. Even Nick interrupted his monologue of telling him about his day.

"You ok kiddo ?? What happened did you get an A ?? Not that I'd be surprised really but you never smiled like that for an A. Is there something you wanna tell me ??"

Alex grabbed his snapback and tried to hide his blush behind it. Which didn't work obviously. 

"Don't tell me my baby brother has a girlfriend or boyfriend. Not that it matters really. Love is love. As long as you are happy I am happy. Mind telling me their name ??"

Alex really loved his brother but he was sure that Nick would book the next flight to Glasgow if he told him that he was dating his history teacher who by the way was 13 years older than him. Jamie would be a dead man. Nick was overly protective. He had made it very clear that he didn't care about the gender of a person though.

"His name is Jamie. He is so kind and nice and funny. He makes me so happy." Alex was sure he was blushing like he had never blushed before.

"Yeah ??", Nick asked fondly, "Thats good. I am glad kiddo. If you are happy I am happy. Your happiness is the most important thing here kiddo."

Alex beamed again. He really had the best brother in the world.

"Thank you. I love you."

"I love you too, kiddo. When I come over I want meet this Jamie who has stolen my brothers heart. Never seen you so happy. From what you are telling me he is a good guy."

"He is", Alex said fondly his eyes soft, "He treats me as if I am the best thing in the world."

"Thats what you deserve kiddo. So glad we could catch up. Talking to you as soon as I can. I have this all night shift at the bar the next 3-4 night so I won't be able to call. Love you, kiddo. Sleep tight. And dream of Jamie." Nick winked and the screen turned dark.

Alex releasing a breath he had been holding. As much as he loved and trusted his brother he was afraid to tell him that Jamie was his senior. For now it would be his secret. His and Jamies.

Present day

Jamie was still looking at the younger in slight shock before composing himself.

"He is my brother. I couldn't have just lied to him like that. I am so sorry I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable…"

Alex started shaking and Jamie gathered his shivering form into his arms. Tucking his head under his chin and stroking his hair gently. He wasn't angry or anything. He would have probably told the same to Andy if his brother would have asked. From what Alex had told him, Nick and him were very close.

"It's ok darling. Please don't worry. Please."

Still Jamie worried. Nick would have every right to be angry about his brothers situation it would seem that Jamie was taking advantage it wasn't like that. Not at all. Jamie was sure he was falling in love and thats what was scaring him the most here. 

Alex took his mind off things by kissing him. His hand messing up Jamies hair. Moaning against his mouth. The older was pushed against the table. The mug with cold coffee falling and spilling, none of them could care about that. Alex hands were on Jamies zipper when he unglued himself from the older. Jamie blinking at him confused. 

With a devilish grin on his lip, Alex locked the door and pulled the blinds down. Approaching the armchair slowly before plopping onto it, spreading his legs slightly. Jamies breath hitched. Alex winked at him and crooked his finger, essentially ordering the older to come to him. Which Jamie obeyed to obviously. Alex knelt down on the armchair to make him bigger than Jamie. 

They kissed for a while. Jamies arm curling around the younger ones waist. His other hand caressing his face gently. Brushing a stray hair out of his face. Alex' lips had latched themselves on his boyfriends neck while his fingers started unbuttoning his shirt. Using the tie to keep Jamie in place. Jamies hand wandered from Alex' waist to his ass. Giving it a squeeze making the younger moan and pant in his mouth.

It was Jamies turn to be bold. He grabbed the younger by the jeans who just smiled against his lips and started to unbutton it. Pushing the fabric down around Alex' ankles. His fingers sneaking under the fabric. Curling around the half hard length making Alex pant and whiny.

"Don't tease me Jamie."

"I would never darling."

"Can we use the table already ??"

"Shush I have an idea for the armchair. We can use the table another time. Plus it's full of coffee. Which you have to clean by the way."

"Oh do I ??", Alex asked innocently batting his eyelashes at the older.

"You little scamp. Maybe I have to punish you."

Alex growled against his lips.

"Please professor punish me. I have been a very very bad student."

"Maybe I should tie you up. You are not letting me work boy."

Alex rose his eye brow and grabbed Jamies tie pulling him in for a kiss.

"Tie me up then", he whispered against his lips cheekily. A grin spreading across his face. The younger knew exactly how to rile Jamie up. The tie was removed quickly and tied around Alex' wrists before the younger was picked up again. Jamie sitting on the armchair and Alex sitting in his lap. His ass grinding against HIS professors crotch teasingly, making Jamie hiss.

"What you can do I can do with eyes closed boy."

"Teach me then professor. Please. I am here to learn am I not ??", Alex asked with fake ignorance. 

Jamies hand wrapped itself around Alex who threw his head back. Leaning against Jamies shoulder who grabbed his chin and pulled him in for a deep kiss. Their tongues dancing around eachother. Swallowing their greedy and needy moans. Jamie quickening the pace. Alex breaking their kiss to breathe, yelping when Jamies thumb swiped his head to spread some precum around his base.

Alex was sure he was about to come when Jamie stilled all of a sudden. His hand slapping around his mouth. Confused the younger opened his eyes. They had switched the light off for safety. Thats when he noticed steps from the corridor. Oh fuck they had nearly been discovered by the janitor. Jamie was shaking slightly.

"Babe ?? Are you ok ??"

Jamie was breathing heavily for a few moments. Neither of them moving. They didn't know how long they hadn't moved. It could have been 1 second or one hour.

"Jamie ?? Please make me come already. I'll bite my own hand to be quiet but please. Please just do something… Please."

"Your wish is my command darling."

Alex came in Jamies hand with a choke. His moan swallowed down by Jamies mouth on his. A gentle kiss was pressed against his sweaty forhead.

"You were amazing darling. So amazing. Lets go home now."

Alex had snuggled against Jamies collarbone, breathing out softly. He wanted to sleep. Groggily he got up from Jamies warm lap. The older cleaning him up with one of his handkerchiefs and untieing his wrists.

"Mehh my shirt is dirty. Gross."

Opening a drawer Alex pulled one of Jamies shirts over his head while the older cleaned up the coffee mess on the table. Organizing his desk and looking around to make sure everything was in it's rightful place. Thank God it was Friday so Alex wouldn't return to his dorm.

They would go home. To Jamies house. Alex had started refering to it as home a few weeks ago. The car ride was quiet, Alex face was pressed against the window. 

Alex had already curled up in bed when Jamie cleaned him up with a wet cloth. The younger having curled around one of Jamies shirt. A navy blue one with yellow letters. It was by far his favourite. Jamie climbed into bed next to him. Storking his hair gently.

"You are beautiful darling."

Alex smiled sleepily. Leaning in for a small kiss before tucking his head under Jamies chin. Hugging him like a koala. Jamies own arms wrapping themselves around his body. He never wanted to let him go again. Both of them forgetting about the fact that Alex was an exchange student. They lived in their little bubble. Hidden away from the world.

Both of them would soon realize that their actions had consequences for now they felt safe in eachothers embrace.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An unexpected or not so unexpected situation arises.

A few weeks passed after that incident. Alex and Jamie were practically living together the younger only going to his dorm during the week. Of course he also tried to make room for Joe who had been asking about going to the cinema. Alex offering to teach him skateboarding. They went to the skate park a few times. While Alex was having the time of his life Joe didn't particularly enjoy it. 

"Thanks for showing me how to skateboard but honestly I don't think it is something for me. You saw me I was like a soft noodle swinging sideways. I don't think I can keep my balance on that. Still I'd like to go to the cinema if you are still up for that. What do you think or Star Wars ??"

Alex smiled, widly and nodded.

"Sure. I have never seen Star Wars."

Joe gapped at him, eyes wide.

"You have never seen Star Wars ??", he asked scandalized.

"Sorry my brother and I didn't really go to cinemas as kids. I have heard about it of course and I am excited to go see it with you."

Alex grinned widly and Joe smiled back. A slight blush spreading across his cheeks. What Joe didn't know was that Alex had also planned to watch a movie with Jamie. Since both of them couldn't go out like a normal couple they had decided to go to this car cinema together. This way they wouldn't get seen in public. Other than that they tried to do coupley things at home. Alex liked to take pictures of them cuddling or kissing in bed. Watching Jamie cook in the kitchen.

It was nice. Domestic. Even though they couldn't show to the outside world that they loved eachother it was still enough for Alex. The younger, with each passing day, had realized that he was falling in love with Jamie. His brother had always told him that falling in love was having butterflies in his stomach. His heart would race in his chest in excitenment. It was doing the same now when Alex thought of Jamie. A faint blush and smile spreading across his face. 

"What are you smiling about ??", Joe asked next to him curiously.

"Just enjoying our time. Sorry I need to leave already. I need to do some research for those papers Mr. Murray gave me."

Joe rolled his eyes annoyed. Huffing frustrated like a small girl that had been taken away his candy.

"It's always Mr. Murray this Mr. Murray that Alex. You talk awefully lot about him you know. There are other, better professors than him. That guy dresses like he lives in the 80s. Can't understand how you like his style really."

"It's really not that bad. I am sorry you are not enjoying his class. I just really like history and him as a teacher. He is awesome really."

Joe rolled his eyes again. 

"Didn't mean to be rude buddy. Just not my favourite professor but if he is yours I will respect that."

Alex beamed at him, hugging Joe briefly.

"Thank you. You are awesome."

Joe blushed a deep red. 

"So you said we will go to the cinema right after school ??"

Joe nodded. He had planned to have the date right after one of Jamies classes. He had a feeling Alex would want to speak to the older so he had gotten tickets for that day and hour. Alex was spending way too much time with that professor anyway. Joe didn't understand what there was to like about that guy. His voice was too shrill. His methods of teaching, the way he dressed. 

Plus Joe thought he looked like a scarecrow with those monotone suits he wore. My goodness they lived in the 2020s not in the 80s... 

Still out of respect for his friend Joe kept his mouth shut. Alex was a genius, Mr. Murray didn't need to see him that often. It felt like he wasn't respecting Alex. 

"I really need to get going now Joe. My brother promised to call before work. You know Australian time and stuff. I really miss him a lot sometimes."

"Of course. Of course. I will see you. Thank you for today."

Alex winked and left. He really liked spending time with Joe. The other was funny and nice. Although skateboarding wasn't really his sport. They could try something else. Maybe surfing ?? Alex would ask his friend the next time about it. Surfing sounded great actually. He wished he could try that out with Jamie.

Jamie… 

His heart sped up while thinking at the older. They had been a thing for about half a year now. How time flew. None of them had ever talked about the nature of their relationship. Alex didn't need that. He just hoped that Jamie wouldn't be too defensive about it. 

Since it was Saturday both of them had agreed to chill on the couch together. Ringing the bell to Jamies house, Alex waited patiently. The older smiling widly upon seeing him.

"Darling. I hope you had fun with Joe ??"

Entering and closing the door, Alex threw himself at the other. Hugging him tightly. Jamie running a hand across his hair, a small smile on his lips as he kissed the top of Alex head. 

"We went to the skate park. Oh and I am going to the cinema with him next week. Right after your class. Sorry we won't be seeing eachother."

Alex felt a little bit guilty about that. Their time was already limited enough. He would have preferred it if Joe would have choosen a different day but it was what it was.

"Come sit down darling. I have missed you."

"Oh have you ??", Alex asked cheekily.

A wide grin spreading across his way as he crossed the living room to go sit on Jamies lap who was sitting on the couch and was looking for a movie to watch. The boy on his lap effectively distracting him. The remote falling on the pillow beside him. His hands grabbing Alex by the thighs to pull him even closer. Both of them moaning as they kissed. A cold hand sneaking under Alex shirt, making him shiver and pant.

Jamie broke the kiss and coughed in his hands a few times. While Alex was gently sucking on his neck, trying not to leave a hickey which was damn difficult because he wanted to claim his own professor. Show the world that he was with someone. Again they couldn't do any couple stuff.

Jamie was still coughing when Alex sat up. The palms of his hands on the older ones chest. A worried frown on his face.

"Babe are you ok ??"

"Sorry I am fine darling. Where were we ??"

Alex didn't seem convinced with that answer. He put his hand on Jamies forehead. He wasn't warm which was good.

"Darling I am ok. Please don't worry", Jamie muttered while removing Alex' hand from his forehead to kiss each finger and knuckle. Alex like the little demon he is sucked one of the older ones fingers into his mouth. Swirling his tongue around it.

"Do you wish there was something else in my mouth, professor ??", he said with a muffled voice, his eyebrows raised seductively.

"You cheeky scamp. You will be the death of me you know that. Can't even hold back sending me pics when I am working."

Jamies fingers dug into Alex' side. His breathing ragged. Fuck he was hard. Painfully hard. This boy would be his death, he knew that. 

"Oh you didn't like my pics professor ??", Alex batted his eyelashes in fake innocence.

One of those pictures had been Alex in his boxers. In front of of his mirror at his dorm. A finger hooked in the waistband of his boxers. Clearly showing that he was hard. A lollipop in his mouth. A seductive look had been thrown at the mirror. An eyebrow raised. 

Jamie had wanted to die on the spot. He had really considered jerking off in his office that day. 

"You are gonna be the death of me boy. I swear I am gonna die."

"So dramatic professor. Your body seems very interested though."

"It's your fault. Going out with your friends while wearing my shirt. Totally your fault."

"Oh this ??", Alex said while licking his lips, his hand smoothing down the fabric of the t-shirt absently, "stole it from your wardrobe. It's my favourite. So pretty. Joe liked it. Any court, any time huh ??"

Jamie bit his tongue hard. Goodness he was about to come just with words. Fucking words. This boy was driving him crazy. Someone just bury him. Fuck. 

"Just wanted to show the world who I belonged to professor."

"Your are gonna make me come in my pants you little scamp I swear. I am gonna die."

Alex raised his eyebrows. Grabbing Jamies glasses and setting them aside to look into his beautiful eyes.

"Oh ?? Better than an A professor", he whispered against Jamies lips, his own teeth biting his lower lip while he moved his hips slowly. Jamie shuddering under him.

"Making my professor come like this. My biggest achievement to date. I am so proud of myself."

Jamie whimpered. 

"Professor…", Alex purred like a happy cat.

This was the last straw. Jamie grabbed him by the waist. Carrying the younger almost effortlessly to the showers. Clawing at this clothes like a wild animal. His mind clouded by lust. God this boy. Alex was pushed against the shower wall. A spray of water covering their bodies and swallowing their moans. 

Alex laughed when both of them had sat at the kitchen isle for dinner. Later that evening Jamie wrapped them in blankets. Alex snuggling against his chest.

"You make me so happy."

Jamie smiled against Alex forehead.

"You too darling. You too."

The next week started in a hurry. Alex had been feeling groggy. Whenever he slept in his dorm he woke up at night. Which meant less sleep for him. If he could he would spend the whole week at Jamies but he understood his boyfriend needed some room to breathe plus it would be suspicious. Alex was lost in thoughts when someone tapped him on the shoulder. He was greeted with Joes beaming smile.

"Guess what", he said excitedly waving his arms in the air.

"What ??"

"Prof. Murrays class is cancelled. This is the best day ever."

Alex tilted his head confused. What ?? Jamie was ill.

"Didn't you get the email ??", Joe asked confused.

Alex shook his head to focus again. 

"No I actually didn't check. Thanks for telling me." 

Alex smiled. A thousand thoughts running through his head. He had checked his phone. Jamie hadn't texted him that he was ill. Probably to not worry him but still Alex worried now. 

"Come on Alex we can go eat something before the movie starts. Oh by the way. I came around your dorm on Saturday but you weren't there."

Alex blood froze in his veins. His eyes wide.

"Oh when did you come around ??"

"4 pm."

"Sorry I was grocery shopping. Gotta stack up you know. You could have texted me."

Joe waved a hand in the air dismissively. Both of them taking the tube on campus to the city. Alex was lost in thoughts and worry for Jamie that Joe had to drag him out of the tube and towards the cinema.

"Popcorn ?? We can share a bucket if you like."

Alex shrugged but nodded. His mind drifting away to Jamie. Gripping his phone like a lifeline, Alex tried to focus on the movie not noticing how Joe was side-eyeing him. Joes hand brushing his. Suddenly his friend breath was next to his cheek and Alex shivered. 

"Joe ?? Buddy are y-"

Alex was cut off by lips landing on his. His eyes widening in shock. Thank God the theatre was dark still Alex remained frozen, when Joe sat back in his seat. Blinking confused Alex turned around to the screen. An uncomfortable shiver running through his whole body. Alex couldn't see his friends face but he was sure Joe was blushing and giving him heart eyes.

"Joe… Buddy… I…"

Alex inhaled and then exhaled. Trying to think how to break it to Joe without breaking his heart. God he had been so caught up with Jamie that he hadn't noticed that Joe liked him… Like really really liked him and now he was about to break his heart… Thats not what Alex wanted. But he also didn't want to break his friends heart.

Sighing into his hands Alex decided to tell Joe that he was seeing someone when the movie was over. He didn't want his friend to burt unnecessarily. Neither of them spoke. Time felt as if it had stopped. Alex felt like the worst asshole in the world.

"The movie was great", Joe said his face plastered with a wide smile. Guilt washed over Alex like a tidal wave. He should have said something sooner. Now he was about to break his friends heart.

"Joe… There is something you need to know… I am already seeing someone… Sorry I never told you anything."

Biting his lower lip Alex saw Joes face change from happy to devastated in a split second. His friends eyes wide. Gaping at him like a fish. Ashamed Alex looked at his feet. God what had he done ?? If he was honest he hadn't even noticed Joe crushing on him.

"Oh…", Joe said dumbly. His shoulders slumping.

"Oh God I am so sorry. Oh my God you are in a relationship and I kissed you ?? I am so sorry Alex… So sorry."

Alex had risen his hands to calm his friend down.

"It's ok Joe. It's my fault. I should have told you from the start…"

Joe nodded. Alex could see tears pooling in his eyes. His friend wiping them away quickly with the sleeve of his jacket.

"I should go now. I will see you in class tomorrow. Thanks for today Alex. Sorry again."

The Australian watched his friend hurry down the street and the guilt became unbearable… He should have said something.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes things don't go as planned.

The ride to his dorm was awefully quiet. Jamie hadn't written at all. Maybe he was asleep. Alex had decided to attempt some chicken soup for Jamies cold. Of course he failed miserably. Ending up buying some before making his way to Jamies house.

Knocking lightly.

Jamie enveloped in a blanket greeted him.

"Darling ?? What are you doing here ?? You will get ill too."

Alex smiled or tried to smile, the thing with Joe had still shaken him. Holding up a bag with a container inside.

"Brought you some chicken soup. Sorry I tried to cook. Didn't go well. I still hope you will like it."

Alex was enveloped in a hug and he wanted to cry in Jamies chest. God he was such a horrible friend. The worst. His mouth started moving on it's own. He started sobbing.

"Darling ??", Jamie asked alarmed, "Darling what happened ?? Why are you crying ??"

"I am horrible. I am monster."

"Darling what is going on ??", Jamie felt helpless. Pulling the younger against his chest. Rubbing his back and hair in comfort.

"Joe kissed me", Alex whispered against the fabric of Jamies shirt. 

"Oh darling…"

Jamie grabbed his boyfriend, hauling him up and bringing him to the bedroom. Laying him down in bed.

"Your soup…"

"The soup can wait darling. You need me more. I am so sorry… I know you didn't want to hurt him."

Alex pressed his face against Jamies shirt and whimpered. His boyfriend running a hand through his hair. Rubbing his back until Alex fell asleep.

They woke up together the next morning. Jamie running a hand through the younger ones hair in comfort, whos eyes were red and puffy from crying. A coughing fit hit him which alarmed Alex. Snapping him out of his trance.

"Babe ?? Jamie... I'll bring you some soup. Stay put."

Alex jumped out of bed in a hurry. The container had been put in the fridge by Jamie and the younger poured it in a small saucepan and put up a kettle of water for some tea. Looking through the cupboards he only found black tea. Which would get the job done. The kettle shrieked loudly. 

Alex put a tablespoon of honey and a squeeze of lemon into the mug before putting it on Jamies side of the bed. The bowl with chicken soup, a squeeze of lemon juice and a sprinkle of black pepper followed. 

"Do you want me to feed you ??", Alex asked as he climbed back into bed. Pressing himself against Jamie and leaving a small kiss against his neck.

"I am fine darling but thank you."

Neither of them spoke. When Jamie was done he pillowed his head in Alex lap. Looking into his eyes and losing himself. A hand in the younger ones hair. They kissed for a while. Gently. Unhurried. It was oddly domestic. Alex worries about Joe being cast away like a cloud in the sky. 

"I want to read to you."

"Hmmm", Jamie hummed, half asleep. 

Alex grabbed the nearest book and Jamies glasses. Putting them on his nose. A grin appearing on the older ones face.

"Look at you sexy professor."

Alex blushed and laughed. 

"You make me so happy you know."

"You make me happy too darling. So happy you have no idea."

"Jamie... I think… I think…"

The older frowned deeply.

"I think I love you..."

Jamies eyes widened, he shot up from Alex lap. This couldn't be. Alex couldn't be in love with him. There was no way. He knew this thing between them had been going on for about 6 months now but there was absolutely no way. 

Alex had tried to reach out for him, but Jamie flinched away like a wounded animal. This beautiful, caring, smart creature couldn't be in love with him. There was no way. Jamie shook his head in disbelief.

"You don't love me kid…"

"How can you know that ?? I know I do. I also would understand if you don't. I mean this thing we are doing here I hoped to call it a relationship but I never pushed you to name it. It's ok if you don't love me back. Really. What we have with eachother is good enough for me."

I don't deserve you. I can't give you everything you deserve, Jamie wanted to yell but he didn't. He just closed his mouth. A thousand thoughts running through his head. If he was honest he wanted to cry. 

Alex loved him ?? Genuinely loved him ?? 

Alex touched his cheek, turning his face towards him. A gentle smile on his face. He tucked his head under Jamies chin and placed a hand on his chest. Right above his heart. The older was still too confused to react so he just blinked.

"It's ok. You don't have to say it. I am content the way it is, really."

"Darling…"

Alex kissed him and Jamie melted. Both of them laying in bed. The younger snapping pictures of them. Jamie demanding that Alex send them via whats app. When the younger fell asleep Jamie stared at the ceiling. His whole body starting to shake. Carefully he got up. 

Alex being in love with him couldn't be. The younger couldn't love him… He was old. He was his teacher. There were other people he could have fallen in love with, Joe for example. Jamie was ruining his life.

He felt gross. What had he done ?? It felt like he had corrupted Alex, who was sleeping in his bed. They shouldn't have done that. Jamie should have said no the first time. Now they were 6 months in and Alex had told him he loved him.

Oh God he was a monster… 

The only consoling thought was that Alex would return to Australia soon. Maybe Jamie could enjoy the remaining time they had together… As selfish as it sounded. Before he had time to ponder on it, arms wrapped themselves around his shoulders. Alex cheek pressing against his head. Jamie squeezed the younger ones hand lightly.

"Why aren't you in bed ?? Is it because I told you ??"

Jamie turned his head towards Alex who's shoulders were slumped. A sad expression on his face. He looked like a lost puppy in the rain and Jamie wanted to cry. Grabbing Alex wrist the younger was pulled into Jamies lap. 

"Darling no. It's not your fault. My head just likes to mock me sometimes. It's not you it's me. I am the problem. I am too old for you…"

Alex grabbed both of Jamies cheeks to make him look up before pressing a kiss against the tip of his nose.

"You aren't too old. I am here because I want to be here. I am here because you make me feel special and loved. If I didn't think that you'd treat me like the most precious thing in the world I wouldn't be here would I ?? And here I am. Sitting in your lap. I love you Jamie. I know it's hard for you to believe but I do."

Alex pressed his face against Jamies neck and exhaled. The older was shaking. Trying to hold himself together. This wonderful, precious boy was an angel. An angel Jamie didn't deserve but who was still here with him. Tears rolled down his cheeks as he hugged Alex to his chest who clung to him like a koala. 

Still there was something hindering him. He wanted to say it back. Alex deserved to hear it. Jamie had tried to deny it. He had tried to lie to himself. For Alex wellbeing mostly. 

He couldn't lie to himself anymore but he also couldn't say it. Not yet.

"Still I am sorry I made it awkward..."

Jamie cupped Alex' cheek and pressed their foreheads together.

"You didn't make it awkward, darling. You didn't, this old man here just panicked. I am sorry. Just please give me a little more time. I… I am not used to this…"

Alex tilted his head confused. His hand playing with Jamies hair. 

"I am not used to feeling this comfortable with someone so my head can be a little bit difficult at times but I will work on it. You mean a lot to me darling, I just want you to know that."

Alex smiled against Jamies chest. He didn't need to hear an I love you. He was content with the way it was. Jamies insecurity about their relationship was sign enough that he was serious in regards to what was going on between them.

Love wasn't always those three little words. Nick had always said that everyone experienced love differently. To Alex it was this moment. Both of them just being comfortable around eachother.

He didn't need to hear an I love you from Jamie to know that.

"Lets go back to bed."

Alex held out his hand, Jamie hesitating slightly before grabbing it, the younger squeezing it reassuringly before leading them to the bedroom. Holding Jamies hand when the had layed in bed. Both of them facing eachother and finally Jamies eyes softened, he pressed a kiss against Alex forehead who sighed gently. He had put the older ones hand against his chest. Right over his heart.

"It beats for you. Only you."

In the darkness of the room Alex didn't see Jamie tear up. Pressing his face against the brits chest Alex fell asleep. Content. Protected. Loved. With Alex safely in his arms, Jamie fell asleep into a dreamless slumber.

Since they weren't a normal couple they couldn't really do couply things so Jamie had suggested they go to this car cinema together. They could chill in the car and go unnoticed hopefully. Alex had said he was happy chilling at home on the couch but Jamie had insisted they do something outside if the house. 

"Babe we really don't have to do this. Plus your office technically counts as outside of the house. We are outside of the house."

"You know that doesn't count. I am so sorry we can't go to amusement parks or just have a picnic at the park together. Even the regular cinema is way too dangerous", Jamie huffed unhappily

Jamie still thought that he was preventing Alex from blooming like a flower. It felt like he was caging him in. The nature of their relationship didn't allow for much.

"I am happy as long as you are with me. Be it in your office or here at home. It doesn't matter to me."

Alex had stood on his toes to kiss Jamie. His hand squeezing the older ones reassuringly. 

"You make me happy as you are. The car cinema is gonna be fun. We could do stuff if the movie is too boring."

Jamie had just unscrewed his bottle of water to take out a sip when half of it landed on the floor. The older coughing.

"You cheeky little scamp. You are really thinking about sex in the car ??"

Alex rose his eyebrows and grinned widly.

"I still want you to fuck me on your desk professor."

Jamie blushed deeply. Slapping Alex shoulder lightly before leading him to the car. He was already half hard and nothing had really happened. Alex has just used his mouth. Be it words or actually using it, it made Jamie crazy. Alex knew. Thats why his warm hand was resting on Jamies thigh for the whole car ride. Inching closer to the olders crotch but never really touching.

Jamie was still driving and Alex didn't want them to crash. Out of the corner of his eye Alex saw Jamies flushed face. His breathing ragged as his knuckles turned white around the steering wheel. A satisfied grin appearing on his face. He loved that he had such an effect on the older.

He was a seductive demon indeed. Jamie was right.

They managed to get to the car cinema in one piece. Jamie exhaling in relief. It was mostly empty and neither of them had any idea what kind of movie they would be watching. Unbuckling his safety belt Alex climbed into Jamies lap. Making himself comfortable.

"Darling…"

"Not my fault you make an amazing human pillow babe. So comfy."

Jamie rolled his eyes in fake annoyance and kissed the top of Alex head. A ran running through his soft hair, making the younger purr like a cat. A satisfied smile appearing on Jamies lips. He was happy when Alex was happy. They watched the movie for while. Neither of them moving. 

One of Jamies hands sneaked under Alex' shirt, technically it was his shirt but who cared at this point, making the younger flinch slightly. One of his fingers circling Alex nipple, who blew air out of his nose to not make a noise. His bottom lip captured between his teeth.

"Jamie…", he whined.

"What is it darling ?? I am not doing anything", Jamies whispered hotly against his ear making Alex buckle. The older ones arm around his waist preventing him from literally jumping out of his lap.

"I am really considering giving you a handjob in my lap in my car darling. We are crazy you know."

Alex laughed and put his head in his neck to look up at Jamie who had a soft expression on his face. The older was pulled down and they were kissing. Moaning into eachothers mouths. The movie forgotten completely. Jamies fingers playing with the button of Alex' jeans before opening it, their lips still locked into their kiss.

"Jamie", Alex whined impatiently.

"What is it darling ?? Am I going to slow for you ??"

"Yes", Alex hissed through his teeth. Grabbing Jamies hand a putting it on his hard crotch.

"I am so hard and horny for you. Please just do something. Please."

"As if I could ever say no to you darling. I wished I could leave marks on you. Show the world that you belong to me. I want to bite you black and blue darling. Fuck look what you are making me do. In my own car. You cheeky little demon."

Pushing his hands under Alex shirt, Jamie removed the piece of clothing and threw it on the back seat absently. Kissing his way from the youngers bellybutton to his neck. Alex' head had hit the steering wheel. His back arched into his lovers touch.

"Jamie..."

"Shush darling. Let me work here."

"It feels so good. You feel so good. Oh God I love you so much." Alex was moaning and whimpering. 

Jamie smiling against his skin in satisfaction. One of his fingers pushing against the younger ones mouth who opened up obediently. Swirling his tongue around the joint. Making exaggerated slurping noise which turned Jamie on to no end. He was fully hard now. No need to hide it.

Jamies hands unbuckled Alex' jeans. Unzipping them painfully slow until Alex sobbed. The front of the youngers boxers were smeared with precum.

"You are so excited for this huh darling ?? I have been a good teacher."

"The best. You have been the best professor."

Impatiently Alex tugged at Jamies jeans. It was weird seeing the older in jeans. Alex had gotten so used to the checkered trousers not that he minded though. His boyfriend looked gorgeous in anything really. As long as he had those glasses who were Alex' weakness. The younger fumbled with the belt buckle and zipper. Freeing Jamies member from his cage. Who jumped out like an anaconda. 

"That's not how this game works darling." 

Jamie was growling against Alex' mouth who had put his arms around the older ones shoulders to pull him closer. Impossibly closer. The window was getting foggy already and they hadn't even really started. Then finally Jamie decided to free Alex from his suffering. Tugging down his jeans and boxers before setting him back again in his lap. 

Taking both of their members in his hand and starting to jerk them off. Alex had thrown his head back and was sobbing in delight. 

"Jamie. Jamie. Jamie", he whimpered like a mantra. A melody. The most beautiful melody Jamie had ever heard. 

"Tell me what you want darling", Jamie purred against his lips before giving him a gentle kiss. His teeth grazing the younger ones bottom lip making him whimper.

"I want you to me make me, us come together. Please. Just make us come together. Oh God Jamie I love you so much."

Jamie grabbed the cross hanging around Alex neck and put it against his lips. The younger taking the piece of metal between his lips and sucking on it. His cheeks rosy and his forehead sweaty. The hairs on his neck were so wet that Jamie wiped his free hand on his own stomach. 

Jamie sped up. Seeing in Alex face that he was close. His lips quivering. The cross still between his teeth. His eyes closed and his chest rising and falling rapidly. Jamie sat him up against his chest. Their foreheads pressed against eachother.

"Look at me", he ordered.

Alex opened his eyes immediately. The kissed with their eyes opened. Staring into eachothers souls as they exploded in Jamies hand. Their moans swallowed by their kiss. A tear ran down Alex cheek. Jamie wiping it away gently.

"Darling… ??"

"It was amazing. I love you", Alex whispered against his chest. Spent but content. He was so happy. Snuggling against Jamies neck Alex doze off. Completely lost in eachother neither of them noticed that they had been observed. 

Neither of them could have know that their time together would be up soon.

Very soon.

A week later

The meeting with Joe had been awkward to say the least. His friend was avoiding him which was totally understandable. Alex gave the other room to breathe. There wasn't a lot he could do about it if he was honest. 

It was Monday afternoon and Alex made his way to Jamies office. Knocking. Jamie smiling widly upon seeing him. Alex leaning against the table, bending down to greet his boyfriend with a kiss. A soft smile on his face. 

"Hello."

Hello to you too darling."

"Someone promised me we'd use the desk. I am getting impatient."

Alex rose an eyebrow and looked at Jamie expectedly. The older rolling his eyes in fake annoyance before setting his glasses aside. Getting up, locking the door and pulling the blinds down. Before grabbing Alex by the waist and greeting him by kissing him deeply. Alex moaning against his mouth.

The younger was pressed against the table as his shirt was pulled over his head and thrown in a corner absently. Jamies hands playing with the zipper and pulling it down. Exposing the youngers grey boxers. His hands wandering to Alex ribs. One arm curling around his waist to keep him in place, pressed against the desk.

Small kisses were pressed all over Alex' body until Jamie started sucking on his neck like a vampire. The younger ones head thrown back, his mouth forming an O and moaning soundlessly. Both of them were in their own little bubble of love and lust…

They didn't hear the door opening behind them…


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Both of them had known that their luck would run out someday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please listen to: Here without you by 3 Doors Down or Dynasty by MIIA while reading. Thank you.
> 
> We love Joe Salisbury despite his role in this chapter.

Alex didn't know why he opened his eyes. Maybe because Jamie had sucked on his neck too hard. Maybe because he had wanted to watch his boyfriend. Maybe because he had just wanted to open his eyes. In hindsight it didn't matter why he did it. In the end it mattered that he did.

His whole body began to tremble. The desk shaking slightly, Jamie smiled against his skin. It seemed as time was standing still. The head master was standing in the middle of the room. Joe right behind him. His eyebrows frowned. A disgusted look on his face. Tears pooled in Alex' eyes. Rolling down his cheeks slowly. His fingernails digging into Jamies arm. Hard.

Jamie flinched. Making him look up. His eyes widening upon seeing Alex' ghostlike, pale face. His mouth was still open.

"Darling ?? Darling what is going on ?? Did I hurt you ??"

Jamie cupped Alex' cheek in concern. Scanning his face for any sign of hurt. Alex sobbed. Hiding his face in his hands. The older reaching out for him confused. Worry written all over his face. Their guests hadn't made themselves known. Jamie took the younger in his arms. His heart beating in his chest alarmed.

Oh God.

"You should be ashamed of yourself Jamie."

Jamie flinched hard. Never letting go of Alex who was crying in his chest. Fuck… Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. This couldn't be. He had locked the damn door. Jamie was a 100 % sure he had locked the door. This couldn't be. Jamies heart shattered in his chest.

"Step away from the boy Jamie. Now."

Alex shook his head against his chest. He was terrified. Jamie kissed the crown of his head. Running his hands down Alex' cool arms and back to try and warm him up. 

"Let the boy go, JAMIE. Don't make this even worse for you."

Alex' hands had curled around his suit jacket. Trembling. Shaking his head against his chest. Whimpering "I am sorry".

"If you don't step away from him I will have you removed Jamie. Don't you understand that."

At this point Jamie had stopped caring. He knew he would get fired anyway. It didn't matter. Nothing mattered anymore except for Alex in his arms. Wonderful, caring Alex who was so terrified. Jamie wanted to take away all of it. He wanted to tell the younger everything would be ok.

Both of them knew that it wouldn't be ok. 

"It's ok darling. I am here."

Jamie was trying to shield the younger from the world. From the injustice and hurt they were about to face. It was his fault alone they were in this situation. If he would have just rejected Alex the first time. If. If. If. A small part of him was glad that he didn't reject the younger. 

This wonderful, smart, funny, caring boy had taught him so much. So so much. One realized what they had, had when they lost it. Jamie was no exception to the rule. Of course he wasn't. 

Someone grabbed him by the arms. Trying to pull him away from Alex who held onto him for dear life. The headmaster was shouting something. It sounded like "I warned you" but Jamie couldn't care. 

He broke free somehow. Grabbing Alex by the neck and kissing him. Pouring every ounce of emotion he had felt for this boy into it. 

"I love you, darling. I am sorry I couldn't say it sooner. I need you to know. I need you to understand this. Please. I love you. I will always love you."

Alex sobbed while Jamies own eyes started to fill with tears. He wished he would have told Alex sooner. He wished they could have enjoyed it together. This wasn't a fairy tale. This wasn't their happily ever after. In the back of his mind Jamie had known that they couldn't get away with what they were doing forever.

This boy had made him dream. Had given Jamie so much hope. So much love. Love he hadn't deserved. What had Jamie done ?? He had just destroyed Alex' life…

"You took advantage of your student, Jamie."

Alex sobbed miserably. Lifting his head he shouted: "He didn't take advantage of me. I initiated it. Punish me and not him."

Jamie shook his head. His eyes wide in fear. Pressing his index fingers to his lips to tell Alex to stay quiet. He had already done enough damage.

The headmasters words ricocetting off him as if he were to wear an invisible armor. His eyes fixed on Alex in worry. Who was shivering and shaking. His face hidden in his hands. His beautiful frame hunched over and shaking from the sobs coming off his mouth. Jamie wanted to make it stop. Make it stop already. Alex looked like a lost puppy left in the rain. Falling to his knees.

Jamies heart screamed in agony. 

"Darling. Darling please I am begging you stop crying."

Jamie nearly elbowed one of the guys holding him in the face as he ripped himself away. Kneeling in front of his distraught lover to drape his beige suit jacket around his shoulders.

"I don't want you to catch a cold darling."

Alex looked up. Clutching the suit jacket like a lifeline. His tears sliding down his chin, creating a small puddle on the wooden floor. Sobs shaking his whole body. Oh God what had he done ?? He had never bothered to think about the consequences if they were to be discovered. 

It was his fault. His fault alone. Jamie was taken away like a criminal. Squeezing his eyes shut, Alex shook his head. This shouldn't have happened. Steps on the wooden floor made him look up. Cold eyes staring into his.

"WHY ?? Why would you do that. I thought you were my friend…", Alex demanded devastated, his voice breaking. 

"I saw you two in the car at the car cinema. Disgusting. And I asked myself why you always went to him. He fucked you like a whore."

Something in Alex roared. A dormant force erupted like a vulcano and he snarled, the suit jacket still draped over his shoulders.

"Shut up. Shut the fuck up. You don't know him."

"You are really naive to believe him. He told you he loves you and you jump up like a fish on the lure."

Alex didn't have to listen to this. He wouldn't stoop into Joes level. It wasn't worth it. Jamie was losing his job for him and Joe had the nerve to tell him such things.

"You are just jealous I fell in love with him and not you. I really felt sorry when you kissed me you know. I still feel sorry for you. I considered you a friend and you did this. It doesn't matter. I hope you will find someone who will love you..."

With wobbly knees Alex got up. His head was spinning and he felt the urge to throw up. He just wanted to see Jamie. Please. Please… 

Jamie had been brought to the headmasters office. His boss raging like an angry bull. Walking up and down behind his desk.

"Are you out of your mind Murray ?? Being in a relationship with a student. This is unacceptable. You will lose your job and your license as a teacher. I will make sure you will never take advantage of a student anymore."

Jamie sighed.

"Bring in the boy. We will call his parents. He will fly home at once. This is unacceptable. My goodness the schools reputation is on the line if this gets out. We must get rid of both of you. Still that boy has so much potential and you ruined him Jamie..."

If Jamie was honest he just wanted to pack his stuff and go home. He was so incredibly tired. He wanted to see Alex. Hey one good thing came out from all of this. They didn't have to hide anymore. Alex would be on his way to Australia soon. It was over.

This realization made Jamie tear up. He wouldn't be able to see Alex again. Even if he was unemployed. It wasn't like he could just show up in Australia like that. He had destroyed Alex life enough. It was better if he stayed away. All he had ever wanted was Alex wellbeing and he had been the one to ruin his life.

Ironic...

"You can leave now Jamie. You are a shame for our school. I ask myself how many other students you have seduced, corrupted over the years. People like you, pedophiles should end up in jail. But like I said we don't want any press around here. The school would be over."

Jamie flinched hard at the word pedophile. Maybe the headmaster was right. Maybe he was a pedophile. Maybe he had convinced Alex to do things he hadn't wanted to do. Mechanically Jamie packed his things. Picking up Alex' shirt that had landed next to the trashcan as Jamie had thrown it away. Tears welled up in his eyes. He had ruined this young boys life…

He truly was a monster. Putting the shirt in the box containing his things Jamie left without looking back.

The drive to his house was agonizing. Alex not leaving Jamies brain. Tears slid down his cheeks. Guilt pooling his stomach. Everything was his fault. Everything… His eyes widened when he got out of his car. Alex was sitting on the steps in front of his house.

"Darling ??"

Alex sobbed and sprinted towards him. Throwing himself at Jamie. Sobbing into his chest. Jamie held him impossibly close. Not a sheet of paper fitting between them as he made his way to unlock the door. Alex clinging to him like a koala.

"I love you", Alex whimpered as soon as Jamie had closed the door behind them. Taking Jamies face in his hands and kissing him with all he had. His forehead coming to rest against Jamies chest. His whole body trembling.

"I am sorry. So sorry. This shouldn't have happened. It's my fault." Alex fists were curled around the fabric of Jamies shirt.

"Darling please. Please stop. None of this was ever your fault."

"Who kissed you then ??", Alex demanded angrily.

"Darling…"

Jamie grabbed the younger by the waist. Hoisting him up. Alex' arms wounding around Jamies neck, holding on to him for dear life as the older walked up to the bedroom. Placing Alex on the soft mattress. The younger grabbing his wrist. A hand cupping his cheek, tears sliding down Alex' cheeks.

"Make love to me."

Jamie froze completely. His eyes wide. 

"Darling ??"

"Make love to me", Alex repeated his voice soft. 

Jamie bend down to kiss him. Both of them moaning against eachothers mouth gently. Jamies suit jacket was thrown on the floor carelessly as Alex shaky hands tried to unbutton his lovers shirt. Sliding it off his shoulders and touching his naked skin. Mapping them with his fingers. Goosebumps forming on Jamies arms. A shaky breath eascaping his mouth.

This was different.

"I want you to mark me. Claim me. Please. I want the world to know I belong to you. I want them to know that we love eachother. I love you Jamie. So much. So fucking much."

Jamie sobbed against Alex' skin as he complied to the younger ones wishes. His teeth sinking into the skin between his neck and collarbone. Alex yelping and moaning. Touching the imprints Jamies teeth had left on his skin, a soft smile on his lips. Jamie proceeded to lick the wound softly. Pressing kisses against it to sooth it.

"I am sorry darling I didn't mean to hurt you."

"You didn't", Alex said cupping his cheek and pressing their foreheads together, "It felt good. So good."

Jamie sighed in relief. His hands were shaking. This hadn't been what he had planned. Jamie had imagined their first time differently. He had wanted to plan it. Make it romantic. They were just going off emotions here. 

"Jamie… ??"

Jamie shook his head. Blinking a few times, Alex fingers combing his hair back before pulling him in by the neck to kiss him. Making Jamie moan against his mouth. The older ones hand trying to unbuckle Alex' jeans. 

It was Alex' turn to moan as his boyfriends hands pulled down his jeans and underwear in one go. Alex struggling to kick them off when finally after what felt minutes they landed on the floor. Alex could feel himself shake. Jamies hands rubbing against his side. Brushing a stray lock from his face. Pressing kisses against his throat.

Alex whimpered and buckled as Jamie licked across his chest. Biting his nipples gently. His hand had found Alex half hard member and was stroking it slowly. 

"Jamie…"

'Shh darling. Everything is ok. I am here. Everything is ok.

"I love you."

"I know that darling. I know that. I love you too. So much."

Jamie got up from the bed to get rid out of his trousers and his boxers. Grabbing the lube and condom from the nightstand. He had really planned and prepared this. Before climbing back into bed and kneeling next to Alex. Running a hand through his soft hair gently. 

"Let me…", Alex said before kneeling next to Jamie. The older hissing as Alex stroked him. The condom packet ripping creating a deafening noise before Alex rolled it over Jamies hard length. Storking him a few times. They kissed again. Greedily this time. Biting eachothers lips. Their teeth clicking against eachother.

Jamie had grabbed the lube squeezing a generous amount on his palm before warming it up before his fingers. Alex had fallen back against the pillow. His chest rising and falling rapidly. One of Jamies hands pressed itself against Alex' chest. The younger ones heartbeat drumming against his palm.

It beats for you.

Jamie swallowed hard. He was incredibly nervous. What if he hurt Alex ?? He didn't want that… 

"Jamie ?? It's ok. I trust you. I would trust you with my life. Make love to me. Please."

Jamie swallowed hard and nodded. Nudging Alex' legs apart settling between them before starting to prepare the younger. Looking at his face for any sign of discomfort. When the first finger went in, Alex winced. Jamie extracting it almosy immediately.

"It's ok. I am ok. Don't worry. Please continue. Please."

Jamie did as he was told. Adding two more fingers carefully, while Alex squirmed and whimpered. Jamie pressing kisses against his hip. Before extracting his fingers. Hovering over the younger. Claiming his lips in a kiss again, to distract him. Before he started to push in inch by inch slowly. Alex whimpering. Hiding his face in Jamies neck. His fingernails scratching across the older ones back.

"It's ok. It's ok", Jamie reassured gently.

Their foreheads pressed against eachother, Jamie lost himself into those beautiful eyes. Their breaths became one. Tears were sliding down Alex' cheeks. But not because it hurt. It didn't. He was crying because he knew this was the one and only time they would be doing this. He wouldn't tell Jamie that he had to leave in three days. His plane had already been booked. The headmaster had called his parents. Alex hadn't had the courage to tell Jamie.

It would break the older ones heart. He couldn't do that. He loved him way too much for that. Way too much. So much he had, had no idea how much a person could love another. So he just kept kissing Jamie. Both of them trembling im eachothers arms. Alex throwing his head back, moaning soundlessly as Jamie made them come together.

"It's ok darling. It's ok. Everything is ok."

Jamie gathered Alex' shivering form into his arms. Kissing his forehead. A hand running across Alex sweaty back and hair. Alex was breathing heavily against Jamies chest. He was so tired all of a sudden. Everything had been so much. Too much.

The discovery. Jamie getting fired. Him getting send back to Australia. He just wanted to stay snuggled against Jamies chest forever. He didn't want to leave please…

When Alex woke up the next morning, Jamie was already awake. Observing him. His hand stroking his skin gently. His eyes puffy and red. Alex sat up alarmed. Pressing his face into the older ones neck to offer comfort. 

"I love you", was the first thing that Jamie said. It was like he was afraid that Alex could forget about it. Alex would never forget it. Jamie was his first love. He would never forget. 

They spend the day in bed. Basking in eachothers company. Later that day they went to get Alex stuff from the dorm. The younger ones heart shattering at the prospect of leaving in two days but there was absolutely no way he could tell Jamie. It was better if the older didn't know. 

Alex had caused enough harm already. Jamie had started wearing the shirt that Alex used to wear. His navy blue tennis shirt that he had gotten a few years ago. Alex smiled and went to sit in his lap. Snuggling into his chest. Trying not to cry. The most difficult thing was not to tell Jamie that he would leave. He had already called Nick to pick him up. While Jamie had been busy with packing Alex had gone to see the headmaster who had informed him that he would get his grade so he could leave for Australia.

Alex didn't care about the history grade anymore. Nothing mattered anymore if he was honest. Except for Jamie.

The night before he had to leave Alex told Jamie to make love to him again. Making sure to wear the older out. Making sure to tell him he loved him as much as possible. 

"I love you so much. So much."

"I love you too, darling."

Finally after what seemed forever Jamie fell asleep. Both of them had been crying again. Alex had laid on his side observing Jamies sleeping form. His fingers ghosting across his skin, while silent tears fell from his eyes. He would have to leave soon. 

"I am sorry. So sorry. Please forgive me. I love you. I love you so much."

Alex pressed a small kiss against Jamies shoulder in parting. Not daring to risk waking him up before rolling out of bed silently. Untieing his cross necklace from his neck and putting it on his pillow next to Jamies head. 

Grabbing Jamies navy shirt, which lay on the floor Alex exited the bedroom, their bedroom. Jamie sleeping soundlessly. Before wiping away the tears. One last time he looked back, tears pooling in his eyes again before leaving Jamie behind in their bed.

When Jamie woke up the next morning he frowned. His hand reaching out for Alex'. The other side of the bed cold. Ice cold. Jamie shot up. Looking around the room before spotting the necklace on Alex' pillow.

"Darling ??", he whispered into the empty room knowing fully well that Alex was gone.

Clutching the necklace against his chest Jamie sobbed…


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes love means pain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please listen to: Dynasty by MIIA while reading.

Alex had barely managed to sleep on the flight, Jamie swirling in his head and the realization that the older would wake up alone in bed, their bed was like someone was driving a knife into his heart. The flight was agonizingly long. It offered way too much time to think about what happened. Alex knew he had been a coward for not telling Jamie. He just hadn't wanted him to hurt further.

In hindsight he had hurt Jamie even more. Had taken his right to say goodbye to him, while Alex had, been able to do that. Maybe Jamie had wanted to kiss him one last time ?? Alex had taken that away with his decision. This realization hurt more than anything else. Jamies t-shirt had been stuffed in his backpack. With shaky hands Alex pulled it out, pressing it against his nose.

For a second he pretended that Jamie was here with him. That they were on their way to Australia together. He pretended that nothing had ever happened. That they would be able to be together. Maybe it wasn't meant to be. 

Maybe they hadn't been meant to be together. 

Pressing his face against the window, hood pulled into his face, shirt clutched against his chest, Alex fell asleep. 

Dreaming about Jamie. His smell still fresh in his nose.

When Alex woke up by the plane landing he could still hear Jamies beautiful voice in his head. Someone was laughing behind him and it sounded so much like Jamie that Alec turned his head wide-eyed, knowing full well that it couldn't be Jamie. Still he did it. His heart hurting. He had been listening to this song the whole plane ride. It summed up everything he was feeling.

And all I gave you is gone… 

Alex chuckled bitterly. Technically he had ripped off Jamies heart not the other way round. The older had always been so considerate about everything regarding Alex.

A true gentleman.

When Alex stepped foot back in Australia it should have felt like home. It didn't. Australia wasn't home anymore. Home was somewhere else. Home was where the heart was.

Home was back in Glasgow. Jamie was home.

Alex couldn't even feel excited to see Nick again. He had missed his brother a lot but he had a broken heart and he wasn't sure if being around people would do him any good. Still Alex pulled himself together. He was sure his eyes were puffy and red from crying.

Nick smiled and waved when he saw him. Alex managed to smile back. Pretending just for a fraction of a second that everything was ok. It wasn't. As soon as he reached his brother, Alex let go of everything and just searched for shelter in Nicks arms. His hands curling around his brothers jersey. Loud sobs escaping his mouth. If it wasn't for Nick holding him up, Alex was sure he would have knelt on the floor, crying his eyes out.

Nick had been excited to see his little brother. He really had. He had missed him so much. Still he had been a little bit confused why Alex had retured earlier than anticipated. Not that Nick complained about it really. 

However he hadn't been prepared for his brother to cry in his arms like that. Those weren't happy tears. Those were sad and agonizing tears. Nick could practically feel the pain. Alex was shaking like a leaf in his arms.

"It's ok kiddo. It's ok", he said helplessly. Running a hand across his brothers back. His heart shattered in his chest. He had never seen Alex this devastated. He had never seen him cry this much. Whatever had happened back in Scotland must have been so bad that Alex couldn't stop crying.

A thought crossed Nicks mind. Jamie. Alex had talked about him. If that fucker had hurt his brother, Nick would personally bury his body. Clutching Alex fiercely against his chest, Nick swore to kill everyone who had hurt him. The younger felt like dead weight against his body. 

Alex didn't look at him when they entered the car. His face pressed against the window. Single tears rolling down his cheeks. His whole frame shaking. Nick reached out hesitantly, his heart breaking in his chest for his brother. When a sob shook Alex body, Nick flinched away. Starting the car slowly. Alex had put up his hoodie to hide his face. 

The drive home was silent. Nick didn't even feel like turning up the radio. If his brother was sad so was he. He also knew that he needed to give Alex some space, the younger would come around and talk about it when he felt like it. 

Nick wanted to ask Alex if he wanted to eat something but his brother looked like he was about to collapse any moment soon. The tears hadn't stopped. Alex curled up in bed. Shoes and hoodie still on. It was like he was a puppet.

"Kiddo ?? Kiddo please. Let me help you with your shoes…"

Alex eyes were hollow. 6 months ago it felt like he was holding the world in the palm of his hand. He was like Icarus who had flown too close to the sun and now he had landed on the ground painfully. His wings burned. Not even his brother could make him feel better. Nothing mattered anymore. 

He would have never thought that having your heart broken could hurt so much. 

Nick had noticed the deep purple mark on his brothers neck. His eyes red with fury. That bastard had hurt his baby brother ?? Still he didn't want to push the younger, who looked so unlike himself.

"Sleep kiddo", he said ruffling Alex' hair gently.

"Can you stay ??", Alex whispered. Clutching his phone against his chest. He knew he would start crying again if he saw his and Jamies photo. Which he had put up as his lockscreen. Both of them had been laying in bed. Just another of those domestic morning. Both of them kissing lazily. Alex had snapped the pic without Jamie realizing. 

Nick nodded, worry being present all of his face. Getting rid of his shoes the older lay next to Alex, who immediately hid his face in Nicks chest. His hands curling around his hoodie and started sobbing. It had been years he had seen Alex so distraught. The last time had been during an incident with their adopted parents. An incident which was responsible for Alex' scar.

Nick hadn't been able to forgive himself for what had happened that day. He hadn't been able to protect his baby brother. They had laid in bed just like right now. Alex face pressed against his chest, crying.  
In the state that Alex was now he wouldn't be able to talk. Nick ran a hand through his hair.

"It's gonna be ok. It's gonna be ok. Shh I am here."

Nick started humming a lullaby he would sing to Alex when they were younger. He wouldn't probably need it because Alex was so distraught and emotionally drained that he would fall asleep right away but Nick tried anyway. 

Both of them ended up falling asleep. 

Nick stretched himself and blinked. Alex was still pressed against his chest. Tears running down his cheeks. Nick wanted to open his mouth to ask what had happened but Alex beat him to that.

"His name was Jamie…"

Nick nodded. He already knew that but he let his brother continue.

"I loved him. I… I still love him… So much. I ruined everything. I cost him his job… I am the reason we got discovered. I am so stupid Nick. So stupid."

Alex' fists collided with Nicks chest half heartedly as he sobbed. Hiding his face in his hands. 

"He was my history professor…"

Nick frowned deeply. Still he remained silent and let his brother continue.

"I basically seduced him… I liked him so much. His lessons. His voice. He was always so kind to me. He never hurt me, Nick. Never. He always made sure I felt safe with him… Always. I love him so much, I ruined everything."

Nick realized what that bruise on his brothers neck meant. Thats when he also realized that his necklace was missing. The cross he had given Alex when he had turned 15. The one Alex had never taken off. Not once. Squeezing his eyes shut Nick realized how much this Jamie had meant to his little brother.

"What happened ??", he whispered his voice hoarse.

"We got caught in his office. We were betrayed by someone I considered a friend… Only because I didn't return his feelings."

"I am so sorry, kiddo… So sorry."

"I gave him my necklace... I just left without saying goodbye and I regret it so much you know…"

"Do you want to show him to me ??"

Alex lifted his head from Nicks chest. His eyes wide.  
Sniffling and settling against his brothers chest, Alex reached for his phone. Showing him a few pictures. But also videos. Jamie standing in the kitchen, being covered in flour while trying to bake cookies. Alex laughing off camera. Jamie calling Alex, darling. 

Nicks heart shattered in his chest. His brother had been so happy. This man had made him so happy. Nick didn't care about the fact that Jamie was over 10 years older or that he had been Alex history professor. The only thing that mattered was that he had made Alex happy.

His little brother curled around his chest and started sobbing again. Nick holding him close. His heart aching so much.

Back in Glasgow

Jamie had been a ghost of himself. After having realized that Alex had left for good he had curled around in bed, the necklace clutched against his chest. Crying his eyes out. He had even ignored his phone. He had no job, nothing mattered anymore. He understood why Alex had done what he had done. He didn't want Jamie or himself to hurt even more. Jamie was sure if Alex had woken him up, he wouldn't have let the younger go.

It was better like that. Alex needed to be free. Free from Jamie who had corrupted him. What the hell had he even thought ?? Starting a relationship with his student. Jamie should have known this wouldn't end well. He hadn't lied when he had said, he didn't care for himself. His only concern had always been Alex.

Sweet, caring Alex. 

Someone ringing the doorbell made Jamie flinch. He tried to ignore it. He didn't want to see anyone. He was so tired and sad… He was heartbroken. He had never felt like this.

The bell didn't stop ringing and with wobbly knees Jamie got up and opened the door.

"There you are brother. I was worried. You didn't pick up your phone. Why aren't you at work ?? Are you ill ?? You look a little bit sick though."

Jamie sobbed and trotted back to his bedroom. He had, had Alex pillow pressed against his face. The others smell allowing him to fall asleep. It was soothing. There was nothing left anymore. He was alone. Alex was gone. Jamie sat on the bed. Necklace in hand, pressing the palms of his hands against his eyes. Andy looking at him alarmed.

"Brother ?? Brother what is going on ?? Hey talk to me. Jamie ?? Please."

Andy had crouched down. His hands on Jamies thighs who just continued sobbing.

"Why aren't you at work ??"

"THERE IS NO MORE WORK", Jamie yelled distraught. Making Andy flinch back.

"What do you mean ?? Jamie please."

Jamie just shook his head. He was so tried.

"I got fired…"

"Wha-"

"For being in a relationship with one of my students…"

"Excuse me what ??", Andy stared at his brother wide-eyed. Jamie remained silent.

"Brother how did this happen ??"

Jamie shrugged. Alex had just appeared and he had been like a fish on the lure. Easy to convince. God how much he loved the boy.

"I love him…"

Andy grabbed Jamie by the shoulders and shook him.

"How the hell could this have happened brother ?? I mean I always knew about your preferences but one of your students ??"

Jamie shook his head vehemently.

"You don't understand. He… He was incredibly. So smart. So so smart. We were on the same wave length, intellectually. I love discussing with him. One day he just kissed me… I tried to reject him I really did but my heart had already decided for me… God he was beautiful. I miss his smile… His beautiful laughter. He made sure I ate and didn't overwork myself. My heart is aching for him…"

Andy sighed and set next to his brother. Hugging him. Jamie crying in his shoulder. He had never seen his older brother like this. Never. 

"You have to get up and eat. Sulking and crying won't bring him back to you brother. I don't want you to kill yourself. I know he is gone but you have to continue living."

Andy squeezed Jamies shoulder. He had no idea why he had went to the bathroom. Until then he had thought that this boy had been Jamies fling. This changed when he saw two toothbrushes sitting next to eachother in the glass, in Jamies bathroom. They had been living together ??

This hadn't been a fling this had been fucking serious and his older brothers heart was broken and what had Andy done ?? God what had he done…

"You lived together…"

Jamie smiled sadly.

"Only on the weekends."

"God brother what happened ??"

"What do you think happened, Andrew ??" Jamies voice was incredibly tired.

"Someone discovered you…"

"I miss him… I called him darling you know. He loved that. It made him feel special. I miss him. I miss him so much. I miss his laughter. His smile. I miss everything about him. He made me so happy you have no idea… And now he is gone… It's better like that. He is free. Free from someone like me…"

"Brother."

Jamie had his head in his hands and was shaking it.

"If I would have just said no…"

Jamie sobbed and Andy hugged him tight. Pillowing his brothers head on his chest.

Who would have ever thought that two people being in different parts of the world could hurt so much for eachother…


	9. Chapter 9

As soon as Nick had to go to his nightshifts and leave Alex alone at home, the younger would have trouble sleeping. He had gotten so used to having someone next to him, that he was physically unable of falling asleep on his own. School would start soon and to he honest Alex was dreading it so much. Grabbing his phone to look at the time, Alex' heart shattered. Whenever he would look at his phone, he would see Jamie…

Still he couldn't change his lockscreen. It was proof that this relationship they had, had had been real. 

They had been so happy. So incredibly happy. Alex had ruined everything. In the back of his mind Alex knew that it wasn't true. Joe had seen them. Joe would have exposed them either way. It didn't matter that they had been discovered in the office. Alex would dream of Jamie every night. Some days he pretended, hoped that everything was just a bad dream and the older would lay next to him. On particular bad nights Alex would reach out next to him for Jamie.

Those were the worst. The realization that both of them were alone. The younger had made it a habit to curl around Jamies t-shirt. Jamies smell the only thing that could help him find some sleep. Some peace. 

Nick had a lot of night shifts. Apart from teaching school children basketball on the weekends. His brother had worked so hard to give them a better life. Alex owed him so much, he knew that with him getting his education their life could only get better. Hopefully. 

The older had been surprised but also enraged when Alex had told him that the school had informed their adoptive parents about Alex finishing his stay in Scotland prematurely. 

"Why didn't anyone inform me ??", he had demanded rightfully so. Nick had gotten guardianship over his brother. The school should have called him and not their adoptive parents.

"They were still listed as contacts in my documents…"

"We'll have to change that. If there is a problem people should call me and not them."

Alex had nodded tiredly. He was a grown up. He should be able to sleep on his own but his brain didn't allow for that. Hadn't it been for Jamies shirt, Alex wouldn't have slept at all. Jamie was swirling in his thoughts a lot. He dreamed about the older nearly everyday. Asking himself if Jamie did the same.

His finger had been hovering over the call or message button a lot of times. It would be easy to at least hear Jamies voice but Alex was scared. Terrified that the older might be angry with him for leaving like that. Which would be totally understandable. 

The week passed by. To Alex they felt like decades. No wonder he was just curled up in bed most of the time. Not having the strenght to even get up and eat something despite Nick making sure to leave food in the fridge everyday. It was like Alex had lost his will to live. There was just endless sadness in his mind. He missed Jamie, asking himself if the older missed him too. 

The only comfort he had were the shirt and the memories. Some saved on his phone and some in his brain. The bruise Jamie had left on his skin had started to fade, making Alex feel as if it hadn't even been there. A wave of sadness washing over the younger as he looked into the mirror one morning. Deep black eyebags under his eyes. He looked like he hadn't slept in forever. 

Alex felt hollow. No wonder. He had left his heart in Glasgow. 

School started in a blur. Alex really didn't want to go if he was honest but he couldn't sulk and be sad at home forever. Maybe he would get some much needed distraction here. Not that it was much fun anyway. There was no Jamie here... 

Alex made his way to his class after having brought his documents from the exchange to the headmaster. He felt absolutely no joy being here. From time to time he would look at his phone. Jamie making him sigh. At first there would be a tiny wave of happiness but it would get crashed by a bigger wave of sadness almost immediately. Alex had to go to the bathroom to compose himself and not burst in tears in the middle of the corridor. 

Alex didn't even listen to his teacher. It was more like background noise to him. Maybe he had really blocked him out. Instead he kept flipping through the photos on his phone. He was a fool for looking at them. Jamie was way back in Scotland. He should move on but he couldn't… They hadn't broken up. They had been ripped apart like a piece of cloth.

Maybe thats why Alex couldn't let go. Because Jamie hadn't let him go. Not officially at least. They could have tried a long distance relationship but Alex had been a coward and had left. The guilt about Jamie losing his job because of him had been too much.

Now he was back in Australia. A mere shadow of himself. 

Alex was thankfully that people left him alone. Essentially ignored him. He knew that most of them thought he was this annoying genius wonder kid. Alex didn't complain. Rather he saw it as a blessing.

Or was it a curse ?? Thinking about Jamie would never be a curse to him. Never. It was a blessing they left him alone.

"Hey there kiddo how was the first day of school ??"

Was the first thing Nick asked when Alex opened the door. The younger just shrugged. If he was honest he hadn't really paid attention to his teacher. There would never be a better teacher than Jamie…

"I made some food. Come lets eat. I don't have nightshifts for a few days. We can watch movies. Hang out. I missed you kiddo."

Alex left his backpack by the door and hugged his brother tight. His face pressed against Nicks chest. He tried not to cry. He knew his brother meant well. He was very glad for the distraction.

"I love you."

"I love you too, kiddo. Come lets eat", Nick said while running a hand through Alex' hair. Despite not being hungry at all Alex nodded. The last thing he wanted was worry Nick. 

The older had fallen asleep after the second movie. Head squished in his arm which he used as a pillow. With a sad smile Alex covered his brother with a blanket and headed upstairs. Curling around Jamies shirt. The first tears making their way down his cheeks. 

"I miss you", he whispered into the empty room hoping that Jamie would hear him somehow. The shirt pressed against his nose, Alex fell asleep.

He woke up with tears in his eyes the next morning. He had dreamed of Jamie. His mind playing tricks on him because it had been so vivid, Alex reached next to the bed to feel for the older. Jamie had smiled. Had kissed him and called him darling. Due to his shirt half the bed smelled like Jamie already. Which should have been a good thing. 

It wasn't. It was pure agony. A reminder of the things that they couldn't have. Things that shouldn't have happened between them. In the back of his head Alex knew that Jamie was going through the same emotions.

Jamie had woken up with a start. The cross necklace on his chest feeling incredibly heavy. Yet he never took it off. It was the only thing he had left from Alex. He had even printed what he thought was the most beautiful picture of them and had put the frame on his shelf. His heart breaking every time he looked at his phone. He had really thought about calling or texting Alex. 

He'd always end up throwing his phone next to his pillow every time. He had ruined Alex life enough. No need for the younger to hurt further. Toying with the necklace, Jamie got up. He would meet up with Andy for breakfast. Then for lunch and then dinner. On the one hand Jamie really was grateful for his brother being there but on the other he was a tiny bit irritated. He didn't need a babysitter who told him to eat. He understood that Andy was worried about him…

"Brother you are barely eating. If it wasn't for me you wouldn't even get out of the house anymore. I am just repaying the debt. You took care of me when I was in a similar situation. If you can even call it similar really. You know what I am talking about."

Jamie nodded. Clutching the coffee mug in his hands. Andy's ex boyfriend. He had really wanted to break that bastards every bone for breaking his little brothers heart. Instead he turned around and tried to mend Andys heart as best as he could. He was an older brother. Thats what he did. Andy was doing better now still his and Andys situation were completely different. 

Andy got cheated on. Jamie and Alex had been separated against their own will… The outcome and pain was still the same. All of them hurt. A lot. 

"Thank you for getting me out of the house and making sure I eat, little brother."

"What if you fly to Australia to see him ??"

Jamie chuckled bitterly.

"And then what ?? I can't just show up there Andy. It's been weeks. I can't even text or call him because I am coward… I ruined his life enough."

"I know you still love him."

"Of course I do…"

The next time Alex went to school something happened. The days at school usually passed by in a blur. Alex didn't even notice if he was honest. He kept looking at his phone with a sad expression. The teacher talking couldn't snap him out of his sadness. One of those days he got cornered in his classroom. Everyone had gone out for break, just Alex was sitting in his chair. Looking at his and Jamies pictures. 

When suddenly his phone was taken from his hands. Alex' eyes wide. Not even properly seeing who had taken it away he desperately tried to get the device back. Arms had grabbed his shoulders to prevent him from moving.

"You've ignored us since you returned De Minaur. Whats going on ??"

"Give me back my phone…"

The bully raised an eyebrow. Before look at the picture Alex had been staring at.

"Ewww who is the old man De Minaur ?? Disgusting. So the rumors were true ?? Don't tell me he was your teacher."

"Give me my phone."

"Oh come on. Lets look at some videos. Ewww really he called you darling ?? What a nerd. How old was he 50 ??"

"Shut up. Give me my phone back. Please. Please…"

"Oh sorry did we hit a nerve ??"

The phone was dangled over Alex head like a piece of meat.

"Get it if you can. Come on De Minaur. Jump. Get it already. God your teacher was really an old man."

"Shut the fuck up already. Leave Jamie alone."

The guys started laughing hysterically.

"Jamie huh ?? So the rumors were true. You were in a relationship with your teacher. Disgusting. We'll keep this for a while."

Alex was shoved to the floor. The other laughed at him before leaving. Alex felt naked without his phone. He hid in the bathrooms until school ended. Crying in his hands. He knew it was just a damn phone but those photos had kept him alive. 

Nick was still at work when Alex came home. Trying to wipe away his tears he curled up around in bed next to Jamies shirt. The food Nick had left for him in the fridge forgotten. Alex didn't have the courage to tell Nick what had happened. His brother would have killed everyone, so he kept quiet. For a while at least. Nick hadn't noticed so far. 

Since it was currently winter season Nick had to take double shifts at the bar. His summer job as lifeguard was obviously unavailable. They would still go to the beach in winter sometimes. 

Alex luck ran out when Nick came home early from a shift.

"Kiddo I called you. Didn't you hear your phone ??"

Ashamed Alex looked at his hands.

"I don't have my phone with me."

"What do you mean ?? Where is your phone ??"

Alex swallowed hard before exhaling.

"It got taken away", he whispered under his breath.

Nick knelt in front of him. A hand on Alex shoulder.

"Who took it away ??", there was anger in Nicks voice which he was trying to hide.

"My classmates… Teacher said they couldn't do anything about it. It's not their problem."

A vein on Nicks forehead popped dangerously.

"I'll handle it. Don't worry."

The next day Nick came home with Alex' phone in hand. The younger hugging him tightly and sobbing in his chest while Nick ran a hand through his hair. Both of them sitting on the bed. Alex' head pillowed on his brothers shoulder. 

"Did it feel like that when he left you ??", Alex voice was barely a whisper but Nick knew what he was talking about. His ex boyfriend. It had been 7 years already. Nick didn't think about that guy. Apparently it had been a fling.

Nick sighed and ruffled Alex hair gently.

"At first it hurt. To know that I was just his summer fling you know. I had fallen in love. Guess you can call it love at first sight. He was beautiful. I slept with him or rather he slept with me. It doesn't matter. He promised to call when he'd get back home. When I called his number was unavailable. Plus I had to take care of you. In a sense you kind of saved me from myself. Getting us, you out of that toxic environment was my number one priority. He started to fade into the back of my head. Thinking back now it doesn't hurt anymore. Not when I have my little brother here with me."

Nick hugged Alex tightly. Kissing the top of his head. Jamie hadn't been like his ex. Him and Alex had just been unlucky. Very, very unlucky. 

"Thank you for getting me my phone back."

"Everything for you kiddo. Everything."

Nick would declare war on the world for Alex. He really would. His love for his little brother was endless. 

Another incident which was caused unintentionally by Nick, Alex felt like his whole world was crashing down which ultimately landed him in the hospital. 

One morning Alex was running late for school. Nick had a morning shift and couldn't wake him. Usually Alex would fold Jamies shirt and put it in his wardrobe but on that day he forgot about everything. In hindsight it had been stupid. He could have called in sick. He wasn't feeling well anyway. Alex had been eating less and less over the last few weeks after he had returned, despite Nick making an effort to leave food in the fridge for his little brother. 

Alex simply wasn't hungry. He wasn't even noticing how little he was eating anyway. He was just sad. So so sad. He missed Jamie horribly. 

Since Alex had left in a hurry he hadn't been able to tidy up anything. Jamie shirt forgotten on his bed. Nick had gone into Alex room to tidy up. Grabbing every piece of clothing on the bed and floor to wash. Not knowing that the shirt belong to Jamie. When Alex returned he just wanted to curl up in bed. He felt dizzy. The younger had snuggled into his pillow, his hand automatically searching for the t-shirt. Frowning Alex opened his eyes. His hand searching for Jamies shirt. He got up and looked on the floor and under the bed. In the wardrobe.

Nothing.

Walking down the stairs, Nick was sitting on the kitchen table, a mug of coffee in hand.

"Nick did you see my shirt ??"

His brother tilted his head confused. 

"What shirt, kiddo ??"

"The blue one on my bed."

Nick frowned deeply.

"I put it in the washing maschine with the other stuff."

Alex eyes widened. Filling with tears slowly before his knees gave in and a loud sob tore from his throat. Alert Nick looked up. Alex had fallen to his knees. Sobbing into his hands. Nick nearly fell when he practically jumped out of the chair to reach his younger brother. Cradling his shivering form into his arms.

"Kiddo ?? Kiddo what is going on ??"

"That… That shirt… It was… It was Jamies…"

Nicks blood froze in his veins. Oh God what had he done ?? Alex continued to sob in his chest and Nicks heart shattered. 

"Oh my God. I am so sorry. I didn't mean to Alex. I... I didn't know it was his. I had no idea. Oh my God what have I done ??"

It was too late. The damage was done and Nick felt horrible about. He couldn't leave Alex upset like this. Cradling his brother in his arms, Nick brought him upstairs, laying him in bed before calling his boss Lleyton to tell him he couldn't make it to work. His boss had always been nice to him. Alex was crying in his pillow when Nick entered his bedroom. Cradling him in his arms until the younger finally fell asleep.

Nick had no idea that he would have to leave work a few days later.

When Nick got the call he had been wiping the tables clean before their customers would come in. Lleyton had called him to get the call. The school told him that Alex had collapsed in one of the hallways and had been brought to the nearest hospital. Nick nearly let the phone fall. His heart racing in his chest.

"My my brother he…"

Before he could finish the sentence Lleyton had already pushed him out of the door. Nick ran. Worry cruising through his veins. He would kill everyone if they had hurt his little brother. The nurse brought him to Alex' room. The younger looked paler than the bedsheet. He was hooked on machines and a fluid bag and Nick nearly stumbled inside crying. 

The nurse told him that Alex had basically starved himself. Dehydration and starvation. Nick sobbed. How could have this happened ?? He had always made sure to leave food in the fridge. 

In the back of his head Nick knew what was going on.

Heartbreak. His brother was heartbroken.

Gently Nick stroked a stray lock of hair out of Alex' forehead. Pressing a kiss against it. Like he would do when they were younger. To reassure Alex that everything would be ok. He also did it to reassure himself. He had been so scared. The last time they had been at the hospital was when their adopted parents had hurt Alex. Nick shook his head. 

He wouldn't waste a thought on them. Alex was the only one who mattered. The younger didn't wake up for a few days. The doc had told him that Alex needed to rest. Nick never leaving his side. Holding his hand in his. Falling asleep next to the bed. The nurse never telling him to leave for some reason. Maybe she thought that Alex had been suicidal.

Heartbreak messed with your head. 

Nick jerked awake when Alex mumbled something. His heart filling with hope.

"Alex ?? Kiddo. Please wake up. I am so fucking worried about you."

Nick had been crying the last few days. He hadn't been able to protect his little brother. Alex mumbled something under his breath.

"What did you say kiddo ??"

"Jamie…"

With a sad sigh Nick got up. Kissing his brothers forehead. Determination blazing in his eyes like the depths of a volcano. If Jamie could make Alex feel better than Nick would fly to Scotland. He had booked a ticket a while ago to be able to visit Alex. 

"I'll be back soon kiddo. Hopefully with your Jamie. I love you."

Alex had written down Jamies address in one of his books. With that information and hope in his heart Nick flew to Scotland. Not knowing if it would help Alex or do more harm. From what Alex had told him neither of them had contacted the other. Nick would see what kind of person Jamie was with his own eyes. 

The flight and the way to Jamie house were long. Nick arriving at about noon and ringing the bell. There was no time for hesitation. Jamie himself opened the door. Nick recognized him from Alex' photos.

"Can I help you ??"

"My name is Nick Kyrgios. I am Alex' brother."


	10. Chapter 10

Jamie took in a sharp breath. His eyes wide in fear. Oh God. If Alex' older brother was standing in front of his door this could only mean one thing. Nick had come to kill him for breaking Alex' heart. Jamies knuckles turned white as he held on to the doorhandle for dear life. Nicks eyes were unreadable. Nick had risen his eyebrows.

"You won't invite me in ?? Don't worry mate I am not a vampire. There is something I need to discuss with you."

Jamie gulped loudly. His right hand toying with the silver cross necklace for comfort, before he stepped to the side to let Nick in. The other going straight for the living room and Jamie following him. His teeth gnawing on his lower lip nervously. 

"Can I sit ??", Nick asked pointing at the armchair. The same armchair him and Alex had…

"The couch is way more comfortable. Would you like something to drink ?? Water ?? Coffee ??"

Nick plopped down on the couch. His eyebrows risen in surprise. Alex had told him Jamie was very polite. Maybe it was a Scottish thing really. Nick nodded.

"Water is fine, thanks."

Jamie tried to go to the kitchen as slowly as possible. His heart racing in his chest. Nick hadn't killed him, yet. Grabbing two glasses and a bottle of water Jamie returned to the living room to find Nick looking at the shelves. At one picture in particular. 

Him and Alex…

At first Jamie hadn't wanted to print a picture. It would hurt more. Andy had said that he should stop being miserable and instead try to cherish the memories and love he had shared with Alex. His little brother had some wise wise advice. Sometimes at least. The photo he had printed and put on the shelf had been one before disaster had struck them.

"My brother looked so happy."

Jamies shoulders slumped, looking at his feet ashamed. He felt so ashamed all of a sudden. 

"He told me about you, you know. He told me everything when he got home. I had never seen him like that. Heartbroken…"

When Jamie looked up into Nicks eyes the other had a sad expression on his face. His mind was clearly far away. He was probably thinking about Alex. Jamie clutched the cross necklace in his palm tightly to ground himself. He missed the younger horribly.

Nick looked up again. His eyes locking on to the cross pendant currently clutched in Jamies hand.

"It was mine."

Jamie rose his eyebrows confused.

"The necklace. It was orginally mine. I gave it to Alex. He gave it to you. He really loved you a lot huh ??… He told me you lost your job for him. Not many would have done that. Come. Sit. We have to talk. It's important."

Nick put the frame back on the shelf, turning around and sitting on the couch waiting for Jamie to join him. The Scots eyes narrowing in worry. Nonetheless Jamie followed Nick and sat down.

"Is Alex ok ?? Please tell me if he is ok. Please."

Nick could see the fear and worry in Jamies eyes. His features changing drastically. Clutching the cross necklace in his palm like a lifeline. Nick took a deep breath. Looking Jamie straight in the eyes.

"Alex he… he is not doing well… He collapsed during school. Starvation and dehydration. He is currently in the hospital. He was mumbling your name when-"

Nick was cut off when he heard Jamie sob. The Scot had hidden his face in his hands.

"Oh God darling what have I done to you ?? What have I done to you. I am so sorry. So sorry. Oh my God…"

Jamies shoulders were shaking with every sob. Nick had gotten up to squeeze his shoulder in comfort. This man was exactly as Alex had described him.

"You could have prevented this. I don't mean to put the blame on you. But you could have called or texted him…"

"I… I…", Jamie removed his hands from his face, wiping away the tears with the sleeve of his shirt, "I hoped he would forget about me. I didn't want to bother him. Make it more difficult for him. I thought, hoped if I remained silent he would be able to be finally free. Believe me I wanted to call him. My finger was above his name countless times, in the end I was a coward. I only wanted the best for him. I had already ruined his life."

Nick sighed loudly.

"People in love do stupid things", he muttered under his breath before fishing his phone out of his pocket. Asking for a videocall. If Jamie and Alex couldn't fix this, he would. 

His brother deserved happiness. So did Jamie. 

Alex tired face greet him. Nick tried to smile reassuringly.

"Nick ?? Nick where are you ?? The nurse said that you left in a hurry. I was so scared something happened. Are you ok ??"

"I am fine kiddo don't worry. Please. Sorry I left you alone. I know you don't like hospitals but this was important. Very important. I hope it will make you feel better."

Alex tilted his head confused when Nick disappeared out of the frame. Until the phone showed someone else. Alex breath caught in his throat as his eyes widened. He let the phone fall in his lap.

"Darling ?? Darling please. Are you ok ??"

Alex hid his face in his hands as he cried. The heart monitor spiking, alerting the nurse who burst in. Alex reassuring her that he was ok. When he looked back up Jamies eyes widened in worry. The younger looked as pale as the sheet. Dark circles under his eyes. 

"Am I dreaming ??", he croaked out wiping away the tears who were replaced by new ones.

"You are not darling. You brother came all the way to Scotland to talk to me. You were right he is the best. God darling I am so worried about you."

Alex whimpered miserably. His hand stroking the display of his phone almost lovingly. As if he wanted to touch Jamie. Thats what he wanted. He want to touch and hug and kiss the older. The last few weeks had been hell, his brother had given him hope. Jamie mirrored Alex' movements, stray tears running down his cheeks. 

Nick observed the scene fondly. At least Alex felt a little better.

"I love you, darling."

Nick heard his brother sob and repeat the I love you. A small smile dancing on his lips. It had been the right decision to fly over. Jamie obviously cared for his brother and thats what Nick wanted. He really didn't care about their age gap, as long as Alex was happy.

"You have to sleep now darling. You are still weak and tired."

"NO. No please don't leave. Please." Alex started to panic. He didn't want Jamie to leave. The older turned his head towards Nick for help, hoping that he could calm Alex down. The other sat next to him, his face appearing in the screen.

"Kiddo we'll stay with you on the phone until you fall asleep. Is that ok ??"

The panic left Alex eyes slightly and he nodded. Falling back into the pillow with a sigh. As promised both of them talked to Alex' until the younger finally fell asleep. With a heavy heart Jamie ended the videocall and handed the phone to Nick. 

"I need to get to Australia right now."

"Hold your horses mate. I know you are worried but you have to take care of a travel visa and stuff ok. I will be back in a few days. On Tuesday actually so you won't have to worry about Alex. I'll give you my number just in case."

Jamie had sat down back on the couch. Clutching the necklace in his palm. Mumbling under his breath. It looked like he was praying.

"Thank you so much for coming over and for opening my eyes. I was a fool… If I would have just contacted Alex he wouldn't be in the state he is in. I have missed him so much."

Nick squeezed Jamies shoulder briefly. 

"He will be alright as soon as he will see you in person I am sure. I am totally not excited to see the two of you acting lovey dovey around eachother seriously mate."

Jamie laughed, wiping the last tears from his cheeks.

"Still I owe you. Thank you. I don't know how to thank you enough."

"Just make my brother happy thats all I want."

Jamie nodded. As long as Alex would want him by his side, Jamie would be there. 

The next time Andy came over Jamie spilled everything to his brother. Nick coming over. His plans of flying to Australia. 

"He looked like death Andy. He looked so pale. I am so worried about him. Everything is my fault…"

"Jamie... You handle the visas on Monday and I will talk to my boss about vacation time. If we are lucky we can leave on Friday."

"We ??", Jamie asked confused.

"What did you think you fool ?? That I would let you fly over alone ?? You'd lose your goddamn mind."

"Thank you. For taking care of me and everything."

Andy rolled his eyes. 

"Just repaying the favour and you know it. You saved me and I save you. I'd miss your annoying antics anyway."

Jamie rose an eyebrow before bursting out laughing. Talking to Alex had revitalised him. The younger had looked bad but Jamie hoped that he would feel better when he was in Australia.

"Annoying huh ??"

Andy shoved him playfully.

"Shut up."

It had been a long time that the two of them had acted liked that. Young. Almost carefree. Teasing. Both of them had been so busy.

"I am glad you are coming with. I don't think I would have survived the flight alone."

"You'll see your angel very soon."

Jamie blushed. Alex had been an angel indeed. Although Jamie had called him a demon the younger was so much more than that. 

Nick left on Tuesday. Andy had arranged some vacation time since he had worked way too much the past few months. Jamie went to pick up the visas on Friday. Their flight would leave in the evening. Jamie had face timed with Alex every day his heart singing in his chest. He couldn't explain what he was feeling at the moment. He had been a fool to not call the younger earlier, it would have both saved them the pain and heartbreak…

Nick had told them that he would come pick them up at the airport. Which was a relief.

Andy fell alseep fairly soon leave Jamie alone with his thoughts. His fingers playing with the cross habitually. It grounded him somehow. Alex had kind of been with him through that cross still it hadn't been the same. Guilt pooled in Jamies stomach, to some extent he was the reason why Alex was laying in that hospital bed. 

Jamie had waited for weeks. 19 hours were nothing. Due to that they would be able to visit Alex on Saturday. Nick had offered them to stay at his house. Next to him Andy was watching a movie and snacking on peanuts. Nudging him with an arm offering him some nuts. With a sigh Jamie accepted. They would land soon. 

Nick greeted them at the exit. Hugging Jamie and shaking hands with Andy as Jamie introduced them to eachother.

"Good to see you mate. I hope the flight was alright ?? Are you hungry ??"

Jamie nodded. He wasn't really that hungry if he was honest. He just wanted to see Alex. They had eaten on the flight but dinner wouldn't do them any harm and he nodded. 

"Takeout ok ?? Still need to go grocery shopping. Tomorrow when you'll be at the hospital for a while so I don't have to worry about anything happening."

"Did something happen ?? Is Alex ok ??", there was panic in Jamies voice.

"I will tell you later. Or Alex will tell you. Lets go home first. Eat something, both of you must be tired. I also needed some time to recover from the jetlag."

They drove home in silence. Nick ordered takeout all of them chatting and eating. Jamie tried not too look around. He didn't want it to be rude. Alex had never talked about his parents. The only one he had talked about was Nick. Not that it was any of Jamies buisnesses. 

"You look tired, mate."

Jamie was playing with his hands. Squeezing them nervously.

"Can I… ?? Can I see his room ??"

Jamie knew he had no right to ask this but he had missed Alex so so much. The prospect of finally seeing him tomorrow still felt unreal. Maybe he was dreaming. He had dreamt of Alex countless times…

Nick got up and Jamie followed him upstairs. 

"There was something I wanted to give you anyway."

Jamie frowned behind Nick confused who pushed Alex' door open. Jamie not daring to step in for a moment. He saw Nick open the wardrobe and grab something.

His blue shirt. Jamies eyes widening while Nick still held the shirt in his hand.

"I washed it", he confessed, "accidentally not knowing it was yours. It is also my fault that Alex is in that hospital bed…"

Jamie shook his head.

"It's not your fault…"

"I just hope seeing you in person will make him feel better. I will be downstairs if you need me."

Nick left and Jamie was alone. Shirt still in hand. He put it on Alex' pillow. Sitting on the bed. It felt awkward and wrong being here without Alex' consent. There were photos of him and Nick on the desk and on the nightstand. One of them showing both of them in jerseys. A basketball tucked under Nicks arm. His other slung over Alex' shoulders. Both of them smiling into the camera.

Jamie felt overwhelmed. The whole room smelled like Alex. Sitting on the bed and eventually laying down, Jamie fell asleep. Alex was everywhere and it soothed his aching soul like balm.

He would see his angel tomorrow. 

When Nick came back he saw that Jamie had fallen asleep. The trip and the emotions had taken a toll on his body. Draping a blanket over the olders body, Nick let him sleep and left. Offering Andy his own room and him taking the couch. 

Tomorrow would be quite emotional. 

The ride to the hospital was quiet. Jamie hadn't even eaten breakfast. He wasn't hungry he just wanted to see Alex. With each passing second he grew more nervous. Looking at his hands, lost in thoughts when Nick pulled into the parking lot of the hospital. The Murray brothers following him to the elevator and through the corridors. Andy squeezing Jamies shoulder.

"You ok ??"

Jamie shrugged. His heart was racing in his chest. He was nervous. Nick told them to wait outside for a second before disappearing behind the door.

"Hey there kiddo."

Nick smiled gently and kissed Alex' forehead.

"How do you feel ??"

The younger shrugged. He felt different every day if he was honest. Nick sat down on the chair next to the bed. Alex avoiding his eyes. 

"Did something happen ??"

"They were here yesterday…"

Nicks blood froze in his veins. He growled under his breath. How dare they ?? Nick had told them to stay away from Alex. 

"What did they want ?? Did they hurt you ??"

Alex shrugged. His wrist hurt. He didn't want to bother Nick with any of that. 

"I'll deal with them later don't worry. There is someone that would like to see you."

"Darling."

Alex looked up and his eyes widened. Tears pooling in them and sliding down his cheeks slowly. Jamie was here ?? Alex gapped. The older cupping his cheek and wiping away the tears gently.

"Please don't cry darling please."

Jamie had pressed their foreheads together trying to calm the younger down. Running a hand through his hair and across his back. Hugging him. Alex hiding his face in Jamies chest continuing to sob like a toddler.

"Jamie… How ??"

The older smiled gently as Alex still looked up at him in disbelief. Alex could figure that Nick was responsible for this and he wanted to hug his brother tight. Mouthing "thank you", Nick smiled widly and nodded. Alex hiding his face in Jamies neck. It felt like a dream.

"We should give them some privacy", Nick whispered and Andy nodded. Both of them leaving the room, shutting the door with a soft click.

"I missed you so much darling you have no idea. I am so sorry I never called. It's my fault you are laying here… My fault alone. I am so sorry please…"

Jamie was crying, Alex nuzzling his cheek in comfort. 

"You are here now thats all that matters. I still can't believe it. It feels like a dream…"

"It's not darling. I promise you it's not", stroking a stay lock of hair from Alex' forehead. Suddenly he was afraid. Palms on his cheeks making him look up. Alex was smiling. His Alex. This wasn't a dream.

"I love you. Thank you for being here."

"I love you too, darling so much."

Just like that they were kissing. Both of them trying to savour it. Their tears mixing with eachother and leaving a salty taste on their tongues. Jamie kissing every inch of Alex' face. Before they kissed again.

Soft. With no hurry. There was no one here that could break them apart.

When Nick and Andy peaked inside, Jamie was laying next to Alex. The youngers head on his chest. Both of them fast asleep. Nick and Andy smiled at eachother.

Sometimes their brothers needed a push in the right direction.

"So do you care showing me around a bit until our two lovebirds here have some time to catch up ??"

Nick grinned widly.

"Sure, mate lets go."

When the door shut with a soft click, Alex opened his eyes and smiled. He had everything he needed. His brother. Jamie. 

For the first time in weeks Alex was able to fall asleep. Jamies heartbeat lulling him in like a beautiful melody.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Alex and Jamie come home they are in for quite a surprise.

While Alex and Jamie were in the hospital, Nick had made it his personal task to show Andy, Australia. Or rather Sydney. As they didn't want to bother their brothers they had to kill some time. Since Alex was still in the hospital, Nick had asked Lleyton for some vacation time although they really needed the money. Lleyton being the good boss he was, had given him paid vacation.

"So mate what do you want to see first ??"

Andy stretched himself, yawning loudly. 

"I'd like to see the beach."

"We are in Winter mate but if you want to see the beach, the beach it is. If we were in Australian summer I would work as a lifeguard."

Andy cocked his head to the side surprised. A small chuckle leaving his mouth. He grinned. 

"Really ?? A lifeguard. No wonder you are so tanned. And I asked myself where that came from."

"So the beach", Nick coughed turning his head. Was that guy flirting with him ?? They had known eachother for what ?? 48 hours ?? Nick couldn't lie that British/Scottish accent was hot. He totally understood why Alex' had fallen in love with Jamie. 

He wasn't here to fall in love though. Maybe they could have some fun yes but nothing too serious. He had burned himself once. He wouldn't make that mistake ever again. His little brother had been extremely lucky to find someone like Jamie. Nick was still amazed by the older Murray brother. It was clear that he wasn't playing with his brother.

"So is Nick a nickname or ??"

"A nickname. My full name is Nicholas but no one calls me that. Well apart from my adopted parents. And I hate it. Just call me Nick and we are good mate. Come on now, if you want to go to the beach in winter we should start now."

Andy grinned widly and followed the Australian. 

Alex was released from hospital sooner than anticipated. Jamie was so relieved to hear that the younger would make a full recovery. The older even started crying. Hugging Alex to his chest who reassured him that he would be ok. Smiling gently at Jamie before finally being able to kiss him properly. 

"I am so glad you are here."

Alex hid his face in Jamies chest while hugging him. Jamie hugging him back as fiercely. Kissing the crown of his head. It felt like finally coming home. Home to Alex. With a gentle sigh both of them separated. The younger grabbing his phone to call Nick. Who didn't pick up. Frowning Alex looked at Jamie. The older trying to call Andy, who also didn't respond. 

"It's ok really. We can walk home. I think I need the fresh air."

There was worry in Jamies eyes.

"Darling are you sure you feel strong enough to walk yet ??"

Alex squeezed Jamies hand reassuringly.

"I have my professor here who will hold me close and make sure I won't fall, right ??"

Jamie blushed and pushed his glasses up. Alex laughed, while Jamie drapped an arm around the younger ones waist before they started walking home. The realization that, they could be with eachother without worrying about being judged or having someones career in jeopardy was freeing. 

Alex halted abruptly. Turning towards Jamie and kissing him on the mouth. A cheeky grin on his face. Jamie blinking at him.

"Now I can do it in public and you can bet I will kiss you whenever I want."

Jamie blushed but grinned, his heart speeding up at that thought.

"You cheeky little demon."

"Professor", Alex purred lowly so they wouldn't be heard. Jamie wasn't a professor anymore but still. The word alone send shivers down Jamies spine. Both of them laughing wholeheartedly. 

They were finally free.

Thankfully Alex still had his house key to unlock the door. Since Nick hadn't heard his phone, Alex suspected that he wouldn't hear the doorbell either. As soon as they stepped into the corridor and closed the door behind them, they heard noises. Alex frowned. They came from the living room. Rounding the corner Alex peaked behind the wall. Nicks arm grabbing the back of the couch the only thing visible. Moans echoing from the wall. 

"Fuck. Fuck mate it feels so good. Fuck keep going. Andy!"

The tips of Alex' ears heated up. Jamie was blushing deeply next to him. Oh obviously they had come at a very bad moment. Taking Jamies hand, Alex led them upstairs without disturbing their brother who were obviously busy with eachother. Closing the door to his room, Alex saw Jamie take off his glasses and rubbing his eyes. 

"Thats not what I had imagined to hear when we'd get home."

Alex walked up to the older. Climbing into his lap. Hugging him tightly.

"I missed you so much Jamie."

Jamie smiled and kissed his forehead, Alex nuzzling his neck before turning his boyfriends face to kiss him properly. His hand sneaking under Jamies shirt. A mischievous smile on his face.

"Alex… We can't."

The younger growled against his lips.

"Who says we can't ??"

"Nick and Andy…"

"They are preoccupied with themselves. They won't hear us. Plus we are on my bed. Don't tell me you haven't thought about it, professor", Alex purred like the demon he was, a wide grin on his face. Jamies face flushing crimson. His body sending him clear signals. Flipping them over, Jamie released a shaky breath.

"They won't hear us. Please Jamie I missed you so much. Please. Look you are making me beg professor."

"You cheeky little scamp", Jamie whispered against Alex' lips before biting the younger ones lower lip. Making him yelp. A satisfied grin appearing on Alex' face. 

"I still have you wrapped around my litte finger huh professor ??", he asked innocently batting his eyelashes. 

Jamie had already proceeded with helping Alex get out of his clothes. He was so weak for this boy. No wonder he would do anything for him. 

"I love you, Jamie." Jamie hummed proceeding to suck and bite Alex' neck. The younger laughing gently.

Jamie untied the cross necklace and handed it to Alex. Who just looked at it, snuggling further into the older ones chest.

"Keep it. It's yours."

"But…"

"You are here. I have everything I need don't I ??", Alex said fondly. Pressing a kiss against Jamies lips before pillowing his head on Jamies naked chest and falling asleep.

When Alex woke up from his slumber Jamie was still asleep. His boyfriend was probably still feeling the jetlag. Brushing away a stray curl from his forehead, Alex pressed a featherlight kiss against it before getting up. Leaving Jamie to dream under the covers. Getting dressed Alex descended the stairs, stretching himself. Wincing lightly when his neck protested in pain. Jamie really had a thing for biting, not that Alex minded.

Nick had his back turned towards him. Disappearing inside of the fridge.

"Ah so sleeping beauty has decided to wake up. I made breakfast. We really should check our- Alex ???? What are you doing here ??"

The carafe with orange juice slipped out of Nicks fingers, shattering on the floor. There were footsteps coming from the stairs.

"Nick ???? Are you ok ????"

Nick was standing in the kitchen only wearing boxershorts. Andy halted on the last step, his eyes wide upon spotting Alex. 

"Oh my fucking God. How long have you been here ??"

Alex chuckled amused. His brother was embarrassed.

"Since yesterday."

"Since yesterday ??????", Nick parroted back scandalized, "Oh my God."

"Relax. As long as you two haven't used the kitchen table I really don't care where you have done it."

Andy blushed while he made his way to Nick to help him clean up the mess.

"Get dressed", the Aussie hissed towards Andy.

"Why didn't you call ??"

"I did. But obviously you were busy so Jamie and I came home by foot. I wouldn't have imagined seeing my brother doing it on our livingroom couch but as long as you had fun and he isn't hurting you."

Nick hid his face in his hands embarrassed.

"Oh my God, Alex please. You weren't supposed to see that. Andy and me we aren't…"

Alex sighed.

"Relax. It's not any of my business. I just don't want him to hurt you. Oh and by the way. We didn't see a thing, we just heard you." Alex winked and with that he met Jamie who had also come down the stairs, his hair a mess.

"Darling ??"

"Breakfast is gonna be awkward."

As Alex had said, breakfast was indeed awkward. Nick and Andy avoiding everyones gazes while Alex munched on his slice of bread happily. Jamie remaining neutral. If their brothers had wanted have fun it was entirely their thing. Jamie was not the one to talk in that situation really. 

"I am so glad you are doing ok now kiddo. So glad."

Alex gave him a wide grin. The incident with their parents in the hospital forgotten. Since Jamie had been there with him, they hadn't shown up anymore. Which Alex was very thankful for.

Sadly the weeks passed by way to quickly. Jamies and Andys visas were about to end. Their 2 month stay in Australia had been more than they could have ever dreamed of.

If Alex was honest he wasn't ready to let Jamie go. The older reassuring him that he would call. They would facetime. He would try everything necessary to come back to Australia as soon as possible. For the last 2 months Jamie had picked up Alex at school. The bullies that had been so mean to him had started at the "professor" in disbelief, as Jamie waited for Alex outside of the school. Most of them had apologized for their horrible actions, some however had continued to be mean, which had induced Nicks wrath upon them. The headmaster had suspended them for harrassement.

Now two months later all four of them were at the airport. Alex had hidden his face in Jamies chest. Trying to give Nick and Andy some privacy too. Despite both of them saying that nothing serious was going on between them, a blind man could see that they cared for eachother.

"I think it's our turn to take care of them. If both of them weren't so stubborn…"

"We were in their shoes too, darling. I mean our situation was different but still we wouldn't want them to suffer like we did."

"They won't admit that they like eachother…", Alex whispered against Jamies chest. They were already standing in front of the security check in. Waiting for Andy and Nick. Who were still talking to eachother. Both of them hugging but that was it. Andy shouldered his backpack making his way to Jamie.

"I'll be back soon darling. I promise you. I love you."

"I love you too."

Both of them hugged and kissed in parting. Not wanting to let eachother go. Alex stepped away to stand next to Nick who put an arm around his shoulders. Both of them waving as the Murray brothers disappeared into the crowd of people. Nick never taking his arm off Alex' shoulder until they reached the car. The older being uncharacteristically silent. Not even switching on the radio. Nick would have to go to work in the next days.

Upon arriving home, Nick went straight to his room. Bidding Alex goodnight. It was already 10 pm. Alex sighed. His room was empty. Jamies presence had been so prominent these last two months that Alex started crying. His room smelled like Jamie. The older had left shirts and hoodies behind. Alex grabbing the navy blue one. He lay in bed for half an hour before getting up and tiptoeing to Nicks room.

"Kiddo ?? Are you ok ??"

"I can't sleep… I miss him…"

Nick lifted the blanket up and Alex crawled into bed. Curling up next to his brother. Thats when he noticed that Nick was wearing one of Andys shirts. His older brother missed Andy. Without saying a word Alex snuggled into Nicks chest like he would do when he was younger. It was his turn to offer his brother comfort. 

Meanwhile Andy sighed like a wounded animal, pillowing his head on Jamies shoulder. He couldn't deny that he was sad about leaving. At first it had been about offering his brother comfort and support. Now after two months it had become so much more and he wasn't sure if his fragile glass heart could handle it. Jamie rested his on head on Andys, his brother finally falling asleep.

While Alex and Jamie kept in contact daily, writing or facetiming their brothers had become very quiet. Mostly due to the fact that both of them had to go to work. So one day after coming home from school Alex requested to facetime Jamie. The older beaming at him. Nick was at work for one of his nightshifts again.

"Hello darling. I miss you."

Alex melted for him. Beaming like the sun.

"How is Nick doing ??"

Alex settled against his pillow and sighed.

"He has been moping around a lot… He keeps saying he misses his "buddy" but we both know there is much more going on. He doesn't play games anymore and you know he loves those… I think he is depressed or lovesick…"

Jamie sighed, taking his glasses off and rubbing the bridge of his nose.

"Both of them are stubborn."

"You mean dumb."

"Stubborn darling. I guess it's our turn to help them."

"How ??", Alex asked helplessly, "they'll keep denying it anyway. I mean I don't blame them… Both of them have been hurt."

Jamie grinned like a demon.

"We'll have to play matchmaker. Both of them have sacrificed so much for us and they deserve happiness. I will be in Australia soon darling. I talked to Andy about the possibility of permanently moving to Australia."

Alex sat up his eyes wide. He couldn't believe what Jamie was telling him.

"Only of you want to of course. I don't want to put pressure on you, darling."

"I love you so much. So much Jamie."

A fond smile appeared on Jamies face. Both of them weren't made for long distance relationships. If they really wanted to live and love they had to be together physically. The distance was killing them, it was the same for Andy and Nick. Even if both of them would never admit it.

It was time for Jamie to go home. 

Home to Alex.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Through hardship and love there is always a happily ever after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for the delay. I had some much fun with this story. Special thanks to @zsab1016 and @lunasenzanotte. ❤❤❤ Thank you for all the support. This was so much fun.

"Darling. Darling ??"

Jamie frowned. Alex had just disappeared. He couldn't have possibly gotten lost at the supermarket right ?? Pushing the cart in front of himself Jamie grabbed some milk and eggs. Andy had promised that he would make them blueberry pancakes for breakfast.

Alex had come to essentially pick Jamie up because he was very impatient and to be honest he really missed his boyfriend. This long distance relationship thing was not for them. So Jamie strolled through the supermarket in search of his boyfriend. Grabbing some flour and oil along the way. 

The younger had gone to the baking isle to get chocolate chips when a voice made him turn around.

"Alex ?? Is that you ??"

Alex had grabbed two packets of chocolate chips when he turned around confused. His eyes widening in surprise. He nearly let the packets fall but composed himself in the last moment. He was wearing a snapback so he hadn't really thought that he's be recognized. 

"Joe…"

"It's been a while Alex. How are you doing ??"

The younger held no grudge against Joe. Not anymore. He felt gratitude towards his former friend. If Joe hadn't betrayed him that day then him and Jamie would still hide. They wouldn't be able to be together like they were now. Joe had freed them.

What was love without a little bit of pain ?? 

It was thanks to Joe that they could be finally free.

"I am good. Thank you. How are you ??"

Joe had gripped the cart so hard his knuckles were turning white. Looking at his feet ashamed. Chewing on his lower lip, while Alex blinked at him.

"I know it's none of my business but why are you here ?? Shouldn't you be back in Aus-"

"Darling ?? Darling here you are. You just disappeared on me."

Joes eyes widened in fear upon spotting Jamie. The older hadn't spotted him. Yet. A soft smile dancing on his lips as he approached Alex. A hand on the small of the younger ones back.

"Look babe I finally found chocolate chips", Alex grinned proudly as he held up the packets for Jamie to see before putting them in the cart. Leaning in to peck the older on the lips briefly. 

Jamie laughed gently. Still not having noticed Joe.

"I don't look for a sec and you disappear on me darling. Nick would have killed me."

Alex rolled his eyes in fake annoyance.

"I nearly got lost in a supermarket. He wouldn't have killed you babe ok."

When Jamie looked back up, a small smile on his face, he flinched upon spotting Joe who was blushing and looking at his feet in embarrassment. Jamie blinked confused, looking at Alex who just stroked his arm and back reassuringly. Still Jamie couldn't stop shaking. It was like he was transported back in time. They weren't in the supermarket anymore. They were in his office. Alex half naked in front of him. Joe and the headmaster behind them. 

"Jamie ?? Babe ?? Hey are you ok ??"

Alex shaking him slightly, his face full of worry brought Jamie back into the real world. When Jamie looked back up Joe was still looking at his feet. His lips pressed into a thin line. Jamies eyes were wide.

"Professor…", Joe started and Jamie flinched like a wounded animal, "I am so sorry for what I have put you through. You and Alex. Genuinely sorry. I shouldn't have done that. I know I can't take away the hurt and pain and you losing your job. I was naive and stupid. I am so sorry about everything that happened. I... I understand now what Alex sees in you and I had absolutely no right to interfere in your relationship. I am so sorry. To both of you."

Joe bowed his head deeply in front of both of them.

"I'll… I'll wait for you at the checkout darling."

Jamie turned around and disappeared around a corner. 

"Give me a second", he said to Joe and hurried after his boyfriend. Jamie was leaning against the cart. His glasses in hand. His fingers squeezing the bridge of his nose to try and calm himself. He flinched when Alex touched his arm. Nuzzling Jamie temple in comfort. Not caring that people were looking at them. Gently he took Jamie face in his hands trying to calm the older down.

"Alex", he whimpered.

"It's ok. Everything is ok. I am here. I am here I promise. We are ok."

"I am sorry. Go back to him. I will wait here…"

"Are you sure babe ??" When Jamie nodded, Alex kissed his forehead and made his way back to Joe who was standing where he left him. Someone was with Joe however. The man seemed familiar. He had put his hand on Joes arm. 

"It's because of me isn't it ?? I triggered him… I am so sorry. I didn't mean to…"

Alex nodded. The man nodded at him. His arm curling around Joes waist. 

"Alex this is Rajeev. Rajeev this is Alex. We are... I mean we were friends."

Rajeev nodded at Alex politely. Alex nodding back. When it hit the younger. Now he remembered where he had seen the other. Rajeev had been Joes tennis coach. 

"I understand now what you are feeling for him. I truly am sorry for what happened. I know it's none of my business but what are you back in Scotland ??"

"We are visiting Jamies brother. We will leave for Australia in about a week. I have to leave now. It was good seeing you Joe. Thank you."

Thank you for having set us free.

Joe nodded in understanding. There was still sadness and guilt in his eyes. Alex went back to Jamie who had calmed down a bit, grabbing his hand and squeezing it both of them made their way home. Andy found both of them sleeping on the couch and covered them with a blanket.

Their last week in Scotland passed by in a blur. They would fly to Australia the next morning. All their suitcases had been packed. Nick would pick them up at the airport not knowing that Andy would come with them. Neither Alex nor Jamie had been able to figure out if their brothers had been in contact with eachother. After having had dinner with Andy both Alex and Jamie went home.

"I'll miss this", Alex whispered as both of them sat on the bed. Their bed in Jamies house. The younger had a photograph in hand. The one Jamie had kept on his nightstand.

"We were so happy…"

Jamie knelt on the bed and hugged Alex from behind. Kissing the back of his head.

"We'll create new memories darling. We will be happy. We are happy."

"I still can't believe this is happening… All of us will be in Australia. I mean obviously Andy still has to take care of some stuff here but I hope him and Nick will get their shit together. They deserve to be happy. I don't want to miss this little family we have created for ourselves Jamie."

"You won't darling. I promise."

With that the younger was rolled on to the bed. Jamie hovering over him and then they were kissing. If this would be their last night in this bed, in this house they had to make it memorable. 

Both of them showered and got dressed in silence the next morning. Alex touching the pieces of furniture almost lovingly. The bed. The kitchen isle where Jamie would cook. And of course the armchair. It felt like he was leaving an old friend behind. Those pieces held so many memories. Grabbing the photo from the nightstand Alex followed Jamie outside. 

The older holding his hand out smiling. One chapter of their book had just ended. A new one was about to begin. With a smile Alex took Jamies hand. He didn't need to look back. As long as the older was by his side it didn't matter where they went.

Home wasn't a place it was a feeling or in Alex' case a person.

Jamie was home.

To say that Nick was shocked when he saw Andy with them was an understatement. Yes they had texted and maybe facetimed but no one had informed him that Andy would be there too. Alex grinned like the demon he was and after greeting his brother, him and Jamie gave them a moment of privacy.

"Andy ?? What ?? What are you doing here ??"

Nicks eyes were wide although he had tried to hide it. He could feel his hands shaking. They had, had a nice time. The sex had been great and Nick didn't understand why his body was reacting the way it was. He wanted to hug the older. Bury his face in his neck and inhale his scent. Even kiss him. They hadn't kissed months ago… 

Both of them had been cowards.

Andy had made him feel good. Not only in a sexual way. He had opened his heart and had told him what had happened when they had been younger. Andy had been the first since… since the one he had considered his boyfriend when he had been 18…

"Oh for fucks sake please kiss already and put us out of our misery."

"Darling leave them alone."

Before Nick could react Andy had grabbed him by the neck and had pressed his lips against his softly. Gently. Nick sighing and melting against him. His knees were shaking so much they threatened to buckle.

"Andrew-"

"Shh. We'll talk later love." Andy had pressed a finger against Nicks lips and the younger nodded. They hugged eachother tightly while Alex was cheering behind them. Smiling at Jamie.

"They are so cute." Jamie ran a hand through Alex' hair and nodded. 

Their little family was finally complete.

For the time being Jamie worked at Lleytons bar with Nick until Alex was done with school. Andy had talked to his boss about a transfer to Australia. Which would take a few months but it was possible. Still Nick kept moping around when Andy had to leave for a month and came back the next. Then finally in December Andy announced that he would stay for good. Alex had never seen his brother that happy.

Their daily lives in Canberra came and went. All of them were so happy to be together. One night when they were in bed in Alex' bedroom the younger turned towards Jamie. A hand on the olders chest.

"You know I love being here with Andy and Nick but maybe we should get our own place don't you think ?? Not only for our sake but also Nicks and Andys. They could stay here and we could get our own little house. We could teach tennis together. I know you still have the job at the bar. Nick said both of you are thinking of opening your own ??"

"I thought you didn't know how to play Tennis darling."

"Well I am willing to learn professor. I am sure I have the best personal teacher right here. And if that doesn't work out I can still teach them basketball or something."

Jamie laughed and kissed the crown of Alex' head. Smiling against the younger ones temple happily.

Jamie and Nick had talked about that possibility indeed. Of course Nick would forever be grateful to Lleyton and what he had done for them. In a sense Lleyton had acted as a surrogate father to Nick. 

After 2 years all of them were financially stable enough to move to Sydney. Since Alex was attending university there it was the next logical step for all of them. Nick was also worried that their adopted parents could find them and he wasn't going to risk that possibility. At last they had found a little piece of happiness and he would be damned of he let them ruin that. Alex' safety was his first priority.

Jamie and Alex indeed started teaching kids how to play Tennis. It was more Jamies doing but Alex tried his best too. His boyfriend had shown him all the tricks even though he had been a little bit rusted. Basketball was still Alex' forte. They had also gotten a house together. It was similar to the one in Scotland.

Alex would often sit with Jamie when the kids would practise. He loved spending time with his boyfriend. Jamie taught kids and teenagers from ages 10 - 19. Of course they had noticed Alex hanging around their coach. Some of them whistling and wagging their eyebrows whenever Alex would sit with Jamie.

"When is the wedding coach ?? Are we invited ??"

Jamie blushed crimson at that. These kids had no chill at all. 

"Coach and Alex sitting in a tree", they sang happily.

Alex laughed gently and nuzzled Jamies temple. The older sighing and shaking his head.

"Kiss. Kiss. Kiss", they chanted.

Alex winked at him. "Just a light peck on the lips babe. Don't worry." Like promised Alex pecked Jamie on the lips and the boys cheered. Jamie was blushing deeply.

"All of you run another 3 rounds when you are done hitting."

"Aww come on coach. It's not our fault you guys are being lovey dovey and cute."

"3 rounds", Jamie repeated with authority in his voice. All the kids were very nice and well behaved but they were still kids. Jamie didn't even dare thinking about a wedding. He didn't really think Alex would want to marry him. He was getting older each day. If he just would have gotten younger. 

"Are you ok babe ??", Alex asked with worry, hand on Jamies knee. The older shaking his head and smiling. 

"Yo. You guys are still here ??" When Alex and Jamie turned around Nick and Andy waved at them. Approaching them and sitting on the bench next to them.

"Thought you guys were at the beach ??", Alex teased with a devilish grin on his face.

"We were. We had a very good time thanks for asking lil bro", Nick winked and Alex rolled his eyes.

"Too much information bro. Too much information."

Jamie had gone silent during their bickering. Chewing on his lower lip. He had even forgotten the 3 three extra rounds of running. The kids remembered though and completed their task dutifully. Bidding Jamie and Alex goodbye. 

The months rolled around. Andy had to finish some business in Scotland and would return before Christmas. Celebrating Christmas on the beach was weird to say the least. Alex had insisted they celebrate at home. All of them wearing ugly sweaters and drinking hot chocolate.

"I got the thing you asked me for Jamie."

"Thank you for getting it for me. I hope Alex will like it."

His brother winked and patted his shoulder. On Christmas eve all four of them had sat in the living room in pyjamas. Playing card and board games. Nick roaring when he won. All of them laughing. At midnight they exchanged presents. Alex eyes sparkling upon seeing his gift.

An authentic Scottish tartan scarf. It was beautiful.  
Alex beamed happily. Hugging Jamie and kissing him.

"Thank you. It's beautiful. I love it." With that the younger wrapped the fabric around his neck. Nick and Andy had disappeared upstairs. 

"I told you I don't need a gift darling really. You being here is enough for me."

"Close your eyes for me. Please", Alex pleaded. The older sighed and did as he was told. 

"You can open them."

Jamies breath hitched at the scene in front of him. His heart threatened to beat out of his chest. Alex had knelt in front of him. A small box with a platin ring was held in front of Jamies face.

"Jamie Robert Murray would you do me the honor of becoming my husband ??"

Jamie just blinked. His throat constricted and he coughed miserably. Having to take off his glasses to wipe away the tears. His shoulders slumped. He wanted to say yes. He really did but he couldn't.

"It's ok. You don't have to answer now or any time soon. I just wanted you to know if you'd say yes, I am here. I will still be here even if you say no ok. I love you Jamie. I know you love me too we don't need a ring or a certificate to prove that we love eachother. I will put the box in our bedroom in case you ever change your mind."

Jamie sobbed. Taking Alex into his arms. Wonderful, beautiful, caring Alex. God he loved him so much. So much.

"Thank you." Thank you for not pushing me. Thank you for understanding. Thank you for loving me. 

The year Alex was supposed to finish university him and Jamie had decided to get a place on their own. They had talked about a house by the ocean. It would also be fairly close to Andys and Nicks place. The younger Murray brother had transferred to Australia permanently. Nick had be ecstatic about that fact. No more one month waits. Both of them being as serious as one could be with their relationship. 

Alex was so so happy for his brother he really was. Jamie was still plagued by doubts. Another year gone by. He was a year older. He had turned 39 now. Alex was 26. In those years doubts had clouded Jamies mind. He had expected Alex to leave him for someone else. For someone younger. Jamie didn't want to cage him in. Even though Alex had matured the youthfulness Jamie had fallen in love had never vanished. 

The younger had also never asked him about the ring again. Keeping his promise he had stashed the box in a drawer. 

One night when they had laid in bed together. Alex already asleep. His slightly longer hair falling into his eyes, Jamie pushing them away gently he realized that he didn't want to miss what they had. Alex was still here. The years were passing and he was still here. Loyal and so much in love like in the first day. 

It was unfair to keep him waiting. 

Rolling out of bed Jamie grabbed the box. Opening it and looking at the ring. The moon shining through the curtains hitting the metal and illuminating Jamies face. Gently he stroked the piece of metal before taking it out of the box and turning towards Alex who was sound asleep. A hand cupping the younger ones face, stroking his cheek making Alex blink sleepily.

"Jamie ??", Alex asked his voice hoarse as he sat up and rubbed his eyes, "Are you ok ??"

"Ask me again", Jamie pleaded gently.

Alex looked at his boyfriend. Blinking and taking the small box in his hands.

"Jamie we don't have to…"

"Ask me again, darling. Please."

Jamie had no idea why he had said no to the idea of spending the rest of his life with the person he loved. If Alex was asking him then it meant that he was ready himself. Thats all Jamie had ever wanted. Alex was old enough to make his own decisions. If Alex decided that he didn't want to marry Jamie anymore the Scot would accept that decision.

"Jamie Robert Murray would you do me the honor of becoming my husband ??"

Jamie smiled gently before kissing the younger.

"Yes, darling. Thank you for not having pushed me."

The ring fit perfectly and Jamie rolled it around his finger fondly. And then he started crying. Alex looking at him alert.

"Jamie ?? Oh God I am so sorry. I didn't mean to-"

Alex was cut off when Jamie hugged him.

"I am so happy. So so happy to be yours darling. Thank you. I love you so much."

5 years later

Some people said married life was like a cage. Others said it was freedom. To Jamie it was peace. And love. So so much love. 

Alex laying next to him on their bed, the sound of the waves crashing on the shore softly, were the best sounds in the world. Alex would turn around and snuggle against his chest sighing softly. Mumbling Jamies name. The older ones eyes were soft and full of love as he ran his hand through the raven hair.

If someone would have told Jamie years ago that he would get seduced and would eventually fall in love with one of his students, he would have declared that person insane. Now it was the most beautiful feeling in the world.

All the pain and hardship had been worth it. Never in a thousand years Jamie would have thought that he would call Alex his husband and here they were 5 years later. 

Listening to the soft sounds of the waves Jamie fell back against the pillow. Alex' head pillowed on his chest, sighing softly. Jamie smiled gently when he turned his head to look at the photograph on the nightstand next to the bed. This beautiful photo.

"Jamie ?? Babe are you ok ??"

Jamie put the frame back on it's place and turned his full attention towards the younger.

"What time is it ?? Did you have a nightmare ??"

The older glanced at the clock. It was 2:41 am. 

"No darling. I was just thinking."

Alex frowned and sat up rubbing his eyes.

"About ??"

"You. I will always think about you darling. You are always on my mind. You are everywhere and I couldn't wish for someone else by my side. Thank you so much for loving me."

"You are so cheesy babe. Did you forget I am a demon, professor ??"

Alex purred like a cat and Jamie laughed.

"You cheeky little demon", Jamie groaned rolling them around in bed. Alex laugh filling the room like a beautiful melody. Who would have ever thought that a student and his professor would have such a journey together.

This was their fairy tale and their happily ever after.

If Jamie could chose he would do everything exactly the same way again. 

They were the gentleman and his demon.


End file.
